Have you ever noticed how each individual person has their own movie playing across their face?
Yes, I'm aware of how weird that sounds, just bare with me for a moment.
What I mean is, you can often see exactly what a person is thinking about or feeling by studying their face. It seems like you can see right into their heart when they let their guard down and think that no one is paying attention. It's amazing some of the things that are revealed in these vulnerable moments.
I happened to be in first period this morning, and having just made the trek from my car in the gym parking lot to the front entrance of the school, en-route to chorus class (I could never handle any of my other headache-inducing classes that early, so yes, this is my first period. I'm aware that I'm a slacker.) and I was feeling very Tuesday-ish. For those of you who don't know, Tuesday-ish is that almost-cranky-but-not-quite-there-yet feeling that has a whole lot to do with how your Monday treated you. And let's face it, Mondays don't exactly have a reputation for being kind to us. I think my Tuesday-ishness also had to do with the fact that it was hot and muggy outside this morning, which contributed to my bad hair day. So you get the picture. I wasn't cranky, but I was pretty close. My hair was a mess (I envy all of you men out there), and I was hot and groggy. Great way to start things off. All the same, I hustled down the crowded, gross-cafeteria-breakfast-food-perfumed hallway (breakfast pizza surprise this morning I think), and arrived at my destination a few minutes before the bell rang.
As I pushed open the heavy wooden door and made my way inside I was greeted with the faces of a few of my fellow classmates, each looking as sleepy and annoyed as I felt. Ah, the camaraderie in that room. Save for the VERY few cheery-eyed morning people dotted around the space, we all dragged our feet and books towards our seats and proceeded to look like sitting zombies. Being a little early to arrive, I settled in to watch and make small talk as everyone else filed into the room. It's hilarious to me to see all the different faces of people when they walk in. Some are calm, some are annoyed, some plain out angry, some happy, some run-down, some indifferent. You can tell exactly what kind of morning they've had so far. That's the thing with young people, we wear our emotions like a huge neon sign on our foreheads for all the world to see. It can get pretty entertaining.
One particular person stood out to me in particular though this morning. You could immediately tell that her mood was not a normal one. As she walked in the door, she stared straight ahead, her neck and eyes never wavering from some fixed point in the distance that no one else could see. Her little face was somewhat swollen and red, and bore no evidence that she wore any of her usual amount of makeup. Adorned in sweats and a T-shirt, she emanated depression. She spoke to no one, but simply put her things down, pulled some chairs together, and laid across them with her head in a friend's lap. The friend said nothing, and wore the same empty stare on her face. Neither person moved, spoke, or even tried to comfort the other. They simply sat in accepted silence, lost in their own thoughts, a world away from the regular sounds and sights of the classroom.
What was amazing was that not one person made any move towards them to try and pry out what their seemingly mutual troubles were. Another thing about young people, we're nosy. We gossip, and we love a good story. So you can imagine my surprise when not one person out of my sixty-something person class bothered those girls. It was like everyone was afraid of what might happen if we broke their stupor. There seemed to be some sort of unseen barrier, some unspoken rule that we knew was inhumane to break. So we left them there, alone with their trials and tribulations. It really struck a chord with me. And not because I was in a music class. Ha-ha.
You never know what someone is going through. For example, you may be at a local restaurant, and have a waitress or waiter who does everything wrong. They get your orders wrong, they fumble over your drinks, or they make it seem like it is a huge burden just to get you an extra napkin. Therefore, you yourself become irritated and short-tempered and leave them no tip and complain to the manager. But what you might not know, is that same waiter or waitress could be upset because they didn't have the money to pay their rent, and had just gotten their eviction notice that morning. They could have just lost a family member. They could have had a customer before you be incredibly rude and cold-hearted towards them. It could be any number of things. But you, immediately assuming that they are just a jerk, react with the same amount of harshness towards them, making their bad day worse and ruining your own day as well.
This cycle of anger can be prevented. All that's needed is a little bit of kindness. Because you truly have no way of knowing what that person is going through. We should be building each other up, not helping to tear each other down. The world is a harsh enough place without us fighting amongst ourselves. People need and deserve compassion. One small act of kindness could make someones bad day or situation lighten up. Even if it's just a moment that they forget their worries, it's enough. They realize that there are in fact decent people out there. And they in turn might be more willing to show other people more patience and kindness than they might have before. Seeing others be compassionate to people they don't even know can warm even the coldest heart. So when I saw a friend of the somber chair-laying girl come up to her at the end of class and silently pat her leg, give her an easy smile and walk away, I cheered up considerably, and was in good spirits for the rest of the day. Something so simple and effortless can mean so much to people.
One thing that my dad has always told my brother and I really jumps out at me as I think about this sort of thing. He always says I don't care if people seem like they don't deserve your patience. I'm sure you aren't so easy to be nice to when your in a bad mood either. Just kill them with kindness. It's sort of a paradox, but it makes sense.
So the next time you encounter someone who is anything but polite to you, take a moment to give them the benefit of the doubt. Treat everyone with politeness, even if they're mean to you - not because they're nice, but because you are.
"A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble." - Charles H. Spurgeon
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Expectations
There are so many things that can be said for my generation. It is one surrounded by an unfathomable amount of toleration, speculation, and low demands. Society has one common idea about those of us between the ages of thirteen and nineteen today: that there isn't a whole lot to be expected of us.
How long do you think the term teenager has been around? Honestly, just take a quick guess. You're probably thinking that it's just one of those words that has been around forever, like any other word. In reality, the word was never even documented until 1941 when Reader's Digest used it in one of its early issues. That means that the term has not even been around for seventy years yet. So what were individuals in this age group called before 1941? I'll tell you what. They were just people. They held jobs and important positions in everyday life. They contributed to their families, homes, towns, and cities by working hard and doing what they had to do to make it. They didn't just sit around and meet the lowest of expectations, because their society asked more from them. The problem today is, teens don't do more because no one asks or expects them to accomplish anything outside of making their bed every morning and perhaps pitching in to wash the dishes after dinner. The potential is there in every teen, but its been known to happen that when the difficulty of a demand is low, the skill level used to achieve the demand sinks as well.
I have seen and been apart of such lowering of skill many times. It's painful and embarrassing to witness and take part in, but it happens all the time. One obvious example of it can be found in sports. Those of you who have read a post or two of mine before know that I am an avid athlete, volleyball being my personal passion. I cannot tell you how many times my team and I have played a much lower level team than ourselves, and struggled to beat them. It's because we succeeded in sinking down to their level, and because not a whole lot was asked of us to beat that team. We didn't achieve much and didn't work hard or really do anything at all. This is what society today is doing to teenagers. It's put us in this stereotypical bubble that tells us over and over again that it knows that we aren't capable of as much and that it's alright. It tells us so many times that we start to believe it, and therefore sink to its lower levels of accomplishment.
Think back to the times of our country's beginnings, of frontier life and the exploration of a new world. People then were put into two categories: children and adults. Either you were a child, which meant that you weren't mentally or physically able to contribute to your family's needs; or you were an adult that pulled your own weight everyday for the better of your family and friends. Back then the classification of being a child or an adult had to do with only one thing: puberty. Once you went through puberty, you were an adult, and therefore expected to work just as hard as your mother and father. There was no such thing as the teenage years back then. Girls as young as fifteen got married and ran their own households and took care of children, while men of the same age held jobs and supported their own families single-handedly. So what's changed between then and now? It certainly isn't the quality of people. Teens still have all the potential and capability that those of old did. The difference now is, society isn't asking half as much of us as they used to. They are dumbing us down, asking very little. And when you ask just a little, you will only gain just a little.
Politicians and local officials all the time ask what is wrong with today's generation, and say that we as a group are in a downward spiral and are nothing like the generations of yesteryear. They have called us the laziest generation yet, one that is more ignorant and difficult to deal with than any other. Well wake up and smell the coffee you ludicrous, selfish, stubborn administrators! Grow up yourselves and be some sort of decent role models. YOU are the ones that are raising us and molding us into what we are becoming! Do you think we were just born this way? I think not. We are merely the product of what society has infiltrated into our minds and everyday lives. Nowadays most of the people in a position to make a difference such as senators, governors, school councils, and other government officials are not at all interested in what young people think or need. All they care about is getting the biggest paycheck possible, and if that means passing a few new bills, laws, or regulations here and there that may or may not be beneficial to the overall population, they won't hesitate to do it. From my experience with them, all they want is a quick fix for our everyday problems, one that will cost them as little money and effort as possible. Newsflash government officials, the easy way out is NOT what we need. What we need is for those of you out there who have power over our future to do what will be best for US in the long haul, not for you. You aren't the ones who will be ruling twenty years from now. It will be us. The younger generation. And if you don't shape and lead us the right way now, all of the generations of the future will suffer just as we are currently. It will be even worse for them. We need adults out there to push us to reach our full potential. It won't be easy, since we find ourselves in a bit of a pit right now; it will be very, very hard. But growing a new generation of intelligent, well-rounded, well-informed, hard-working people is a hard business.
It is said that when more is asked of someone, they will rise to the occasion. The same goes for young people. If someone would just step up and ask more of us, I'm sure the majority would rise to the occasion as well. We are capable of so much, and have all the potential to outsmart even the greatest teachers, scientists, and philosophers. People aren't just born geniuses. They have to be tended to and nurtured just like the most temperamental of flowers. So yes, this generation might be the laziest, but it isn't our fault. Society has pampered us and made us forget what hard work and determination is. All we need is a big shove in the right direction, and we can become the next group of world changers, and impact people across the nations.
All we need is a little hope, a little knowledge, and some very high expectations.
"High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation." - Charles F. Kettering
How long do you think the term teenager has been around? Honestly, just take a quick guess. You're probably thinking that it's just one of those words that has been around forever, like any other word. In reality, the word was never even documented until 1941 when Reader's Digest used it in one of its early issues. That means that the term has not even been around for seventy years yet. So what were individuals in this age group called before 1941? I'll tell you what. They were just people. They held jobs and important positions in everyday life. They contributed to their families, homes, towns, and cities by working hard and doing what they had to do to make it. They didn't just sit around and meet the lowest of expectations, because their society asked more from them. The problem today is, teens don't do more because no one asks or expects them to accomplish anything outside of making their bed every morning and perhaps pitching in to wash the dishes after dinner. The potential is there in every teen, but its been known to happen that when the difficulty of a demand is low, the skill level used to achieve the demand sinks as well.
I have seen and been apart of such lowering of skill many times. It's painful and embarrassing to witness and take part in, but it happens all the time. One obvious example of it can be found in sports. Those of you who have read a post or two of mine before know that I am an avid athlete, volleyball being my personal passion. I cannot tell you how many times my team and I have played a much lower level team than ourselves, and struggled to beat them. It's because we succeeded in sinking down to their level, and because not a whole lot was asked of us to beat that team. We didn't achieve much and didn't work hard or really do anything at all. This is what society today is doing to teenagers. It's put us in this stereotypical bubble that tells us over and over again that it knows that we aren't capable of as much and that it's alright. It tells us so many times that we start to believe it, and therefore sink to its lower levels of accomplishment.
Think back to the times of our country's beginnings, of frontier life and the exploration of a new world. People then were put into two categories: children and adults. Either you were a child, which meant that you weren't mentally or physically able to contribute to your family's needs; or you were an adult that pulled your own weight everyday for the better of your family and friends. Back then the classification of being a child or an adult had to do with only one thing: puberty. Once you went through puberty, you were an adult, and therefore expected to work just as hard as your mother and father. There was no such thing as the teenage years back then. Girls as young as fifteen got married and ran their own households and took care of children, while men of the same age held jobs and supported their own families single-handedly. So what's changed between then and now? It certainly isn't the quality of people. Teens still have all the potential and capability that those of old did. The difference now is, society isn't asking half as much of us as they used to. They are dumbing us down, asking very little. And when you ask just a little, you will only gain just a little.
Politicians and local officials all the time ask what is wrong with today's generation, and say that we as a group are in a downward spiral and are nothing like the generations of yesteryear. They have called us the laziest generation yet, one that is more ignorant and difficult to deal with than any other. Well wake up and smell the coffee you ludicrous, selfish, stubborn administrators! Grow up yourselves and be some sort of decent role models. YOU are the ones that are raising us and molding us into what we are becoming! Do you think we were just born this way? I think not. We are merely the product of what society has infiltrated into our minds and everyday lives. Nowadays most of the people in a position to make a difference such as senators, governors, school councils, and other government officials are not at all interested in what young people think or need. All they care about is getting the biggest paycheck possible, and if that means passing a few new bills, laws, or regulations here and there that may or may not be beneficial to the overall population, they won't hesitate to do it. From my experience with them, all they want is a quick fix for our everyday problems, one that will cost them as little money and effort as possible. Newsflash government officials, the easy way out is NOT what we need. What we need is for those of you out there who have power over our future to do what will be best for US in the long haul, not for you. You aren't the ones who will be ruling twenty years from now. It will be us. The younger generation. And if you don't shape and lead us the right way now, all of the generations of the future will suffer just as we are currently. It will be even worse for them. We need adults out there to push us to reach our full potential. It won't be easy, since we find ourselves in a bit of a pit right now; it will be very, very hard. But growing a new generation of intelligent, well-rounded, well-informed, hard-working people is a hard business.
It is said that when more is asked of someone, they will rise to the occasion. The same goes for young people. If someone would just step up and ask more of us, I'm sure the majority would rise to the occasion as well. We are capable of so much, and have all the potential to outsmart even the greatest teachers, scientists, and philosophers. People aren't just born geniuses. They have to be tended to and nurtured just like the most temperamental of flowers. So yes, this generation might be the laziest, but it isn't our fault. Society has pampered us and made us forget what hard work and determination is. All we need is a big shove in the right direction, and we can become the next group of world changers, and impact people across the nations.
All we need is a little hope, a little knowledge, and some very high expectations.
"High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation." - Charles F. Kettering
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
A Crisis
For the past three or so hours I had been heavily occupied with washing my lovely little green truck. It is certain that there is no car in the world loved more. My arms were covered from elbow to fingertip with brake dust, grime, and soap, but I had that happy aura about me that can only be brought about by seeing the beautiful product of your own manual labor. The sky was as blue as the Caribbean and the air as pleasant on the skin as silken bedsheets. Add in a quiet breeze every now and again and some dazzling sunshine, and you have the equivalent of what I was experiencing as I gazed at my now spotless car. Who knew that on this utopia of a day, soon, I'd have to be a a horrible jerk.
After admiring such a lovely days work, I began retrieving my many materials and locking the garage up for the day. Plunk-plunk! Plunk-plunk! I could have sworn I had turned that annoying thing off when I started, but it seems that one must always stay in the loop of communication, so I guess my teenage mind had thought better of it. I finished cleaning up and clicked and poked all the necessary buttons to open up a text message from a recently acquired acquaintance of mine, named George. My mind immediately went from a state of bliss to a state of annoyance and caution.
George is not a bad person. Let me get that straight first of all. He is just one of those guys that you'd rather just be able to say hi to in passing, and leave it at that. He's a bit shorter than I, and I'm about 5'7", so he's small compared to most guys I know. He has jet black curly hair just long enough to require combing, and thick eyebrows framing small, dark eyes. Although huskily built, his is not quite overweight. Talking quickly is off limits, because of his heavy Greek accent. His whole family is from Greece, which is where he spends every summer. For the most part he is a sweetheart, but has a sailor's mouth and a sixteen-year-old boy's gross mind. Not surprising, and for the most part expected. Amazing what one can find out about a person in a few short conversations. You'd think that I'd known him for years.
I opened the text.
Hey buddy. I find that term a tad bit condescending coming from him, so I was immediately annoyed. But nevertheless, I texted back. What's up. This was my first mistake. When the very first two words someone says annoys me, it usually isn't a smart idea to continue to strike up a conversation with them. Silly me.
For the next ten to fifteen minutes we made small talk about a number of different things, each insignificant and pointless, but each reminding me of why I do actually enjoy talking to George. He is easily amused, and can make even the most boring of ideas seem hilarious. My initial annoyance had dissipated, and my guard had been let down. I remembered that just because he's a guy, doesn't mean we can't just be friends. But then of course, he dropped the bomb on me.
We still going out tomorrow for lunch?
Crap. Crap crap crap crap crap. I remembered suddenly a conversation between us a week or so ago where he had initially asked me this question. I also remembered sullenly agreeing because 1) he had been asking me every time we talked for the past couple of weeks, 2) I always said no, and 3) I was tired of being the mean girl who never gave the guy a chance. I remembered thinking: Really, how bad could it be? It's only lunch. Of course, my air-headed self trying to do what I thought at the time was the right thing. Now that the time had actually come, I quickly realized that this was by no means a good idea. How could I lead him on that way? In no way was it fair to him for me to feign interest, so sadly, I decided that I had no choice but to be a jerk. Naturally, now I realize that there were many other options to get myself out of this date, but at the time I was hurridly trying to come up with some credible excuse as to why I just couldn't join him that day.
Hold on let me check, I typed. I mashed the Send button and racked my brain for something that I might have had to get done tomorrow instead, because lying is no option for me. I knew the guilt I'd feel later would be ten times as bad as the actual date would have been. Thinking of nothing truthful, and with none of my friends having their telephones on, I ran to the back yard where my very last resort was happily chatting away with my father, unaware of my teenage crisis.
"Hey, Mom?"
"What have you gotten yourself into this time?" she replied laughing, immediately recognizing my flighty tone of voice.
"What's the nicest way to say no when someone asks you to do something?" I asked, dodging her question and hoping that for once she would simply just answer, and not bombard me with the usually inevitable "Why do you ask?" or "Who's doing what?" follow up questions. I'm finding out that there is no such thing as a simple answer when it comes to mothers. She proceded to solidify this lesson.
"Who's asked you to do what?" she asked with a suspicious look on her face. Seeing no way around it, I relented and relayed to her the whole story of my idiotic misfortune. She listened with a curious look on her face and when I was done, she chuckled to herself. I stood there getting more annoyed by the minute, and was having a hard time finding the humor in the situation and remembering why I make her my last resort.
"Oh Kars, you owe me big time after this," she said with a grin. I stared at her stupidly. "We CAN be busy tomorrow if you'd like. I was thinking yesterday that we might take your grandparents to lunch tomorrow out of town while the lady cleans their house if you didn't have any plans made already. Now I've made my mind up and say that you have no choice but to come."
I let go of the breath that I hadn't realized I was holding and blew out a sigh of relief. The miracles this woman comes up with, I will never understand.
"But let me just say something else really quick, even though I totally bailed you out on that one." she said. I knew it was too good to be true. "You need to learn that there's some things that you're just going to have to do for the benefit of other people. Even if it does turn out bad. You might be breaking this George's heart by running out on him like this. In the future, I'm not going to save you. Just make sure you know that." Only a mother could incorporate a life lesson into this little ordeal and make me feel like a jerk for taking the easy way out at the same time.
After hurridly walking up to the house to escape my parent's growing amusement at my discomfort, I plopped myself down on the living room couch and texted poor George my apologies and reasoning behind my being unavailable to accompany him.
His response: Oh...okay. I was really looking forward to it. That's disappointing.
Just rip my heart to shreds why don't you.
Life lesson #67: Never agree to something you do not fully believe in doing if you are somewhat of a coward like me. It will not end well for anyone involved, and you will end up owing your mother big time, which is never a good thing when you are sixteen and still living off of her income.
Three cheers for young ignorance! (:
After admiring such a lovely days work, I began retrieving my many materials and locking the garage up for the day. Plunk-plunk! Plunk-plunk! I could have sworn I had turned that annoying thing off when I started, but it seems that one must always stay in the loop of communication, so I guess my teenage mind had thought better of it. I finished cleaning up and clicked and poked all the necessary buttons to open up a text message from a recently acquired acquaintance of mine, named George. My mind immediately went from a state of bliss to a state of annoyance and caution.
George is not a bad person. Let me get that straight first of all. He is just one of those guys that you'd rather just be able to say hi to in passing, and leave it at that. He's a bit shorter than I, and I'm about 5'7", so he's small compared to most guys I know. He has jet black curly hair just long enough to require combing, and thick eyebrows framing small, dark eyes. Although huskily built, his is not quite overweight. Talking quickly is off limits, because of his heavy Greek accent. His whole family is from Greece, which is where he spends every summer. For the most part he is a sweetheart, but has a sailor's mouth and a sixteen-year-old boy's gross mind. Not surprising, and for the most part expected. Amazing what one can find out about a person in a few short conversations. You'd think that I'd known him for years.
I opened the text.
Hey buddy. I find that term a tad bit condescending coming from him, so I was immediately annoyed. But nevertheless, I texted back. What's up. This was my first mistake. When the very first two words someone says annoys me, it usually isn't a smart idea to continue to strike up a conversation with them. Silly me.
For the next ten to fifteen minutes we made small talk about a number of different things, each insignificant and pointless, but each reminding me of why I do actually enjoy talking to George. He is easily amused, and can make even the most boring of ideas seem hilarious. My initial annoyance had dissipated, and my guard had been let down. I remembered that just because he's a guy, doesn't mean we can't just be friends. But then of course, he dropped the bomb on me.
We still going out tomorrow for lunch?
Crap. Crap crap crap crap crap. I remembered suddenly a conversation between us a week or so ago where he had initially asked me this question. I also remembered sullenly agreeing because 1) he had been asking me every time we talked for the past couple of weeks, 2) I always said no, and 3) I was tired of being the mean girl who never gave the guy a chance. I remembered thinking: Really, how bad could it be? It's only lunch. Of course, my air-headed self trying to do what I thought at the time was the right thing. Now that the time had actually come, I quickly realized that this was by no means a good idea. How could I lead him on that way? In no way was it fair to him for me to feign interest, so sadly, I decided that I had no choice but to be a jerk. Naturally, now I realize that there were many other options to get myself out of this date, but at the time I was hurridly trying to come up with some credible excuse as to why I just couldn't join him that day.
Hold on let me check, I typed. I mashed the Send button and racked my brain for something that I might have had to get done tomorrow instead, because lying is no option for me. I knew the guilt I'd feel later would be ten times as bad as the actual date would have been. Thinking of nothing truthful, and with none of my friends having their telephones on, I ran to the back yard where my very last resort was happily chatting away with my father, unaware of my teenage crisis.
"Hey, Mom?"
"What have you gotten yourself into this time?" she replied laughing, immediately recognizing my flighty tone of voice.
"What's the nicest way to say no when someone asks you to do something?" I asked, dodging her question and hoping that for once she would simply just answer, and not bombard me with the usually inevitable "Why do you ask?" or "Who's doing what?" follow up questions. I'm finding out that there is no such thing as a simple answer when it comes to mothers. She proceded to solidify this lesson.
"Who's asked you to do what?" she asked with a suspicious look on her face. Seeing no way around it, I relented and relayed to her the whole story of my idiotic misfortune. She listened with a curious look on her face and when I was done, she chuckled to herself. I stood there getting more annoyed by the minute, and was having a hard time finding the humor in the situation and remembering why I make her my last resort.
"Oh Kars, you owe me big time after this," she said with a grin. I stared at her stupidly. "We CAN be busy tomorrow if you'd like. I was thinking yesterday that we might take your grandparents to lunch tomorrow out of town while the lady cleans their house if you didn't have any plans made already. Now I've made my mind up and say that you have no choice but to come."
I let go of the breath that I hadn't realized I was holding and blew out a sigh of relief. The miracles this woman comes up with, I will never understand.
"But let me just say something else really quick, even though I totally bailed you out on that one." she said. I knew it was too good to be true. "You need to learn that there's some things that you're just going to have to do for the benefit of other people. Even if it does turn out bad. You might be breaking this George's heart by running out on him like this. In the future, I'm not going to save you. Just make sure you know that." Only a mother could incorporate a life lesson into this little ordeal and make me feel like a jerk for taking the easy way out at the same time.
After hurridly walking up to the house to escape my parent's growing amusement at my discomfort, I plopped myself down on the living room couch and texted poor George my apologies and reasoning behind my being unavailable to accompany him.
His response: Oh...okay. I was really looking forward to it. That's disappointing.
Just rip my heart to shreds why don't you.
Life lesson #67: Never agree to something you do not fully believe in doing if you are somewhat of a coward like me. It will not end well for anyone involved, and you will end up owing your mother big time, which is never a good thing when you are sixteen and still living off of her income.
Three cheers for young ignorance! (:
Saturday, April 16, 2011
"Don't worry, 'bout a thing, 'cause every little thing, is gonna be alright."
People often say that you find out what you're really made of when things get a little rough around the edges. Well, after this week, I'm thinking I'm made out of some sort of mixture between that really amazing brand of Tupperware plastic that can survive even the most horrific leftovers, and that "New and Improved" play dough they like to call silly putty.
I guess I'm quite the oxymoron. But hey, don't all the men out there like to say us girls are quote, 'complex'? That's a better word for it. Maybe they're right. I guess a mixture of complexity, stupidity, hilarity, and integrity are what make the world what is is today anyway. A little snippet of craziness every now and then never hurt anyone.
Ever had one of those weeks where its seems like every frustrating but altogether necessary task gets thrown at you on Monday and has to be done (at the latest) by Friday? This was one of those weeks for this kid! Thank goodness it was all school related, because I know if I hadn't been able to come home to a sane household (not that my household is ever really sane), I wouldn't have made it through these past five days without a multitude of regrets and misgivings.
I started things off on Monday rejuvenated and positive. The weekend had been warm and enjoyable and the chorus of "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley had been my personal theme song for the past two glorious spring days. By the end of the day my song had changed to something that sounded a little like "I Hope Tomorrow is Like Today" by Guster. Slow, melancholy, depressed. The reason for this dramatic change of mood was the seemingly impossible amount of work that I, being the overachiever who just had to take some upper-level classes, had to complete. My do-to list as of the end of the school day on Monday looked a little something like this:
1) On Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, take and pass the huge three-part state-wide HSAP test that determines if I get my high school diploma or not and that made me miss my first two classes of the day for three days straight.
2) Accurately complete a five-day lab experiment in chemistry that our teacher was counting as a test grade and that would require me to write numerous two page lab reports throughout the week. Also write a minimum four page introduction for a totally separate formal lab report for that same chemistry teacher. All due on Friday.
3) Try and keep up with and learn what was being taught in my Trig class (that I was missing everyday because of HSAP) and take a test on all of it on Friday.
Holy. Crap. In my mind this was one of the biggest and most sinister-looking mountains I'd ever undertaken as a high school student. Now I know that most people out there reading this are probably thinking "Well gosh that doesn't seem like a lot at all. Just wait until you're an adult kid, then you'll see what work is." Yes, you are most definitely correct, I really don't know what a tough week of work is yet. But I'm not trying to get sympathy. I'm just complaining and explaining. It's what we teenagers do.
I will say though, that I learned a little more about myself because of this trying week. I learned that I'm getting pretty good at the whole 'staying positive' thing. This week gave a new meaning to the saying "Just take it one day at a time."
A year ago this sort of thing would have caused me to be completely stressed out all week long, to be a jerk to my family because of my hectic schedule, and to have an altogether bad outlook on myself and what I was capable of achieving. Basically I would have been very immature and handled it all with very little poise or grace.
People tend to be very good at overwhelming themselves. We think and stress and moan and end up making a little challenge look like climbing Mt. Everest when in reality all we need to do is break up the work and take it one day at a time. Everything in life is much more manageable when taken in small quantities. So this week, that's exactly what I did. I put in the hours doing homework, typed endlessly on my computer, and stayed for hours after school to keep myself caught up, all the while making sure I looked decent and healthy each day and not like a sleep-deprived bum. I felt like one of those crazy soccer moms who somehow manage to successfully juggle their kids, husbands, and jobs everyday. It was slightly liberating.
By Friday, I felt good about every paper I turned in or test that I took. The week ended up being one of my proudest and most successful yet. Now as I sit outside on my back porch on this beautiful Saturday, carefree and content with a week of spring break just getting underway, I find myself being thankful for the test the past couple of days brought. It's true that God isn't going to throw anything at me that I can't handle. It also made me realize how grateful I should be of a supportive family, and of the fact that I even have the opportunity to go to school and get an education at all. I think we should all just step back and look at everything we've been blessed with, be it opportunities or materials. So next time you're feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, remember that there are tons of people out there who would kill to be in your shoes and have what you have. Don't spend all of your time worrying, because even though things may be tough right now, it won't be that way forever. If there weren't any bad days, we would never be able to fully appreciate the good ones. Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them.
I guess I'm quite the oxymoron. But hey, don't all the men out there like to say us girls are quote, 'complex'? That's a better word for it. Maybe they're right. I guess a mixture of complexity, stupidity, hilarity, and integrity are what make the world what is is today anyway. A little snippet of craziness every now and then never hurt anyone.
Ever had one of those weeks where its seems like every frustrating but altogether necessary task gets thrown at you on Monday and has to be done (at the latest) by Friday? This was one of those weeks for this kid! Thank goodness it was all school related, because I know if I hadn't been able to come home to a sane household (not that my household is ever really sane), I wouldn't have made it through these past five days without a multitude of regrets and misgivings.
I started things off on Monday rejuvenated and positive. The weekend had been warm and enjoyable and the chorus of "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley had been my personal theme song for the past two glorious spring days. By the end of the day my song had changed to something that sounded a little like "I Hope Tomorrow is Like Today" by Guster. Slow, melancholy, depressed. The reason for this dramatic change of mood was the seemingly impossible amount of work that I, being the overachiever who just had to take some upper-level classes, had to complete. My do-to list as of the end of the school day on Monday looked a little something like this:
1) On Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, take and pass the huge three-part state-wide HSAP test that determines if I get my high school diploma or not and that made me miss my first two classes of the day for three days straight.
2) Accurately complete a five-day lab experiment in chemistry that our teacher was counting as a test grade and that would require me to write numerous two page lab reports throughout the week. Also write a minimum four page introduction for a totally separate formal lab report for that same chemistry teacher. All due on Friday.
3) Try and keep up with and learn what was being taught in my Trig class (that I was missing everyday because of HSAP) and take a test on all of it on Friday.
Holy. Crap. In my mind this was one of the biggest and most sinister-looking mountains I'd ever undertaken as a high school student. Now I know that most people out there reading this are probably thinking "Well gosh that doesn't seem like a lot at all. Just wait until you're an adult kid, then you'll see what work is." Yes, you are most definitely correct, I really don't know what a tough week of work is yet. But I'm not trying to get sympathy. I'm just complaining and explaining. It's what we teenagers do.
I will say though, that I learned a little more about myself because of this trying week. I learned that I'm getting pretty good at the whole 'staying positive' thing. This week gave a new meaning to the saying "Just take it one day at a time."
A year ago this sort of thing would have caused me to be completely stressed out all week long, to be a jerk to my family because of my hectic schedule, and to have an altogether bad outlook on myself and what I was capable of achieving. Basically I would have been very immature and handled it all with very little poise or grace.
People tend to be very good at overwhelming themselves. We think and stress and moan and end up making a little challenge look like climbing Mt. Everest when in reality all we need to do is break up the work and take it one day at a time. Everything in life is much more manageable when taken in small quantities. So this week, that's exactly what I did. I put in the hours doing homework, typed endlessly on my computer, and stayed for hours after school to keep myself caught up, all the while making sure I looked decent and healthy each day and not like a sleep-deprived bum. I felt like one of those crazy soccer moms who somehow manage to successfully juggle their kids, husbands, and jobs everyday. It was slightly liberating.
By Friday, I felt good about every paper I turned in or test that I took. The week ended up being one of my proudest and most successful yet. Now as I sit outside on my back porch on this beautiful Saturday, carefree and content with a week of spring break just getting underway, I find myself being thankful for the test the past couple of days brought. It's true that God isn't going to throw anything at me that I can't handle. It also made me realize how grateful I should be of a supportive family, and of the fact that I even have the opportunity to go to school and get an education at all. I think we should all just step back and look at everything we've been blessed with, be it opportunities or materials. So next time you're feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, remember that there are tons of people out there who would kill to be in your shoes and have what you have. Don't spend all of your time worrying, because even though things may be tough right now, it won't be that way forever. If there weren't any bad days, we would never be able to fully appreciate the good ones. Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
"Work hard, don't try hard."
What is a team?
According to the dictionary it is "a number of persons associated in some joint action". In my opinion this definition, quite frankly, sucks. It's one of the worst blanket statements I have ever heard. A team is not something that can be defined in a few simple words. It is a complex, difficult, and wonderful thing that can change, mold, and bring people into something so powerful, even the realities of our everyday world can't break it. The word "team" cannot be summarized, it can only be experienced.
This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending the Palmetto Regional Volleyball Championships in Charlotte, North Carolina with my own team. We, along with hundreds of other teams from Georgia, North and South Carolina, played two, three, or four matches a day for three days, trying to do what all teams want to do: win. My team and I had been very successful in this area all season long, and I, along with my other eight teammates, thought we were ready for the hardships that the biggest and most important tournament of the year was sure to throw at us. Man, were we ever wrong.
Now don't get me wrong, we were very much physically ready. Our team is one of the best when it comes to skill and talent in our age division. What caught us all off guard was the very big mental part of the game. Ever heard that saying: sports are ten percent physical, ninety percent mental? Well let me tell you guys, truer words were never spoken. Everyone thinks that the skill part of the game is the hardest to accomplish and perfect. I can assure you all that this is most definitely not the case. Mental toughness is one of the most difficult traits to aquire and obtain. In my opinion it is the single most important and difficult thing to learn as an athlete.
The first day of the tournament was this past Friday. We started our first of two matches that evening against the number one team in our region and age group. Let me just say, we found out that they were in that number one spot for a very good reason! We started the match not expecting too much, and therefore played extremely well. We actually kept up with them and were even beating them at one time. This of course resulted in all of us getting overexcited and thinking that we really were capable of beating them. Don't get me wrong, we were very much capable of winning against them if we played to our full potential, but when you actually do something you didn't think you could, you start to get nervous and start trying way too hard to keep doing it. That's exactly what we did. Offense and defense crumbled, tempers flew and nerves frayed. We lost faith in playing together and started playing individually, and you will never succeed in volleyball individually. The worst part about it though was that none of us tried to pick our other teammates up when they got frusterated. No one gave anyone a pat on the back or said a few encouraging words to someone who was down, and that's what a team is, a support system. And when you fail at that, you are no longer a team. You are only a group of people doing the same thing in close proximity to each other. And in volleyball and even sometimes in life, that never leads to success.
Needless to say we lost that match with flying colors. We then went into a the second match against a much easier opponent and proceded to lose that as well. When we left the convention center later that night, we were all at our wits end with each other and our coaches. Nothing this bad had ever happened to us before, and we had no idea how to deal with it, let alone fix it.
The next day we showed up somewhat better prepared for a fight. We lost the first game but procede to win the next three. The difference between the first three games and the next three games was all in our heads. In the first three, we all lost individual battles. In the next three, we won a single battle together. That's what a team is supposed to do: fight together, hurt together, smile together, laugh together, work, win, and lose together. There is no individuality in this sport.
We ended up pulling it together enough to win the bronze metal for our age group. I'll say that I'm definitely happy that we won anything at all, but I know that this team could have done so much more. This group of girls that I was blessed enough to get to play with are some of the most talented young women I have ever met. They inspired me every game and every practice to be better, work harder, and rise to the occasion. I've never wanted so bad to make my teammates proud of me, and to help them be as great as they were meant to be. These girls have helped me become a better person, and to learn to take responsibility for my actions and to always think of others before I ever think of myself. I'm never happier than when I've made one of my teammates happy in a tough situation. Let me say that I am also so thankful for the coaching we all received at this tournament. We all needed to be pushed to overcome our young, selfish, and yes I'll admit it, immature teenage minds. And we ended up not just getting pushed in that direction, but shoved with such intensity and passion that we couldn't help but feed off of it and improve.
Team to me is not a word. If it was just a word it would be black and white, plain, ordinary, one meaning, simple. In my mind, team is exact opposite of all that. It is toughness (both mental and physical), devotion, eagerness, selflessness, and a willingness to play and win not only for your own personal satisfaction but also for the building up of your teammates as people and athletes. When it all boils down, we're all playing a game, and a game isn't that serious. But the formation of strong young women who come to understand that anything is possible if you give yourself over to faith in yourself and in those around you is something far more serious and important. All of us, even our coaches, took a step closer to that level of greatness after this weekend. We'll fight our whole lives to get there, but if we take one step at a time, and take them all together, we'll get there. No matter if those steps take us down separate paths, we will always have each others backs. That is what my team is to me. They are my strength, my everlasting source of joy on and off the court, the people who bring the best out in me and make me a better person everyday and make me feel secure and invincible and loved. But most importantly, they are and always will be, my family.
"Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results."
According to the dictionary it is "a number of persons associated in some joint action". In my opinion this definition, quite frankly, sucks. It's one of the worst blanket statements I have ever heard. A team is not something that can be defined in a few simple words. It is a complex, difficult, and wonderful thing that can change, mold, and bring people into something so powerful, even the realities of our everyday world can't break it. The word "team" cannot be summarized, it can only be experienced.
This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending the Palmetto Regional Volleyball Championships in Charlotte, North Carolina with my own team. We, along with hundreds of other teams from Georgia, North and South Carolina, played two, three, or four matches a day for three days, trying to do what all teams want to do: win. My team and I had been very successful in this area all season long, and I, along with my other eight teammates, thought we were ready for the hardships that the biggest and most important tournament of the year was sure to throw at us. Man, were we ever wrong.
Now don't get me wrong, we were very much physically ready. Our team is one of the best when it comes to skill and talent in our age division. What caught us all off guard was the very big mental part of the game. Ever heard that saying: sports are ten percent physical, ninety percent mental? Well let me tell you guys, truer words were never spoken. Everyone thinks that the skill part of the game is the hardest to accomplish and perfect. I can assure you all that this is most definitely not the case. Mental toughness is one of the most difficult traits to aquire and obtain. In my opinion it is the single most important and difficult thing to learn as an athlete.
The first day of the tournament was this past Friday. We started our first of two matches that evening against the number one team in our region and age group. Let me just say, we found out that they were in that number one spot for a very good reason! We started the match not expecting too much, and therefore played extremely well. We actually kept up with them and were even beating them at one time. This of course resulted in all of us getting overexcited and thinking that we really were capable of beating them. Don't get me wrong, we were very much capable of winning against them if we played to our full potential, but when you actually do something you didn't think you could, you start to get nervous and start trying way too hard to keep doing it. That's exactly what we did. Offense and defense crumbled, tempers flew and nerves frayed. We lost faith in playing together and started playing individually, and you will never succeed in volleyball individually. The worst part about it though was that none of us tried to pick our other teammates up when they got frusterated. No one gave anyone a pat on the back or said a few encouraging words to someone who was down, and that's what a team is, a support system. And when you fail at that, you are no longer a team. You are only a group of people doing the same thing in close proximity to each other. And in volleyball and even sometimes in life, that never leads to success.
Needless to say we lost that match with flying colors. We then went into a the second match against a much easier opponent and proceded to lose that as well. When we left the convention center later that night, we were all at our wits end with each other and our coaches. Nothing this bad had ever happened to us before, and we had no idea how to deal with it, let alone fix it.
The next day we showed up somewhat better prepared for a fight. We lost the first game but procede to win the next three. The difference between the first three games and the next three games was all in our heads. In the first three, we all lost individual battles. In the next three, we won a single battle together. That's what a team is supposed to do: fight together, hurt together, smile together, laugh together, work, win, and lose together. There is no individuality in this sport.
We ended up pulling it together enough to win the bronze metal for our age group. I'll say that I'm definitely happy that we won anything at all, but I know that this team could have done so much more. This group of girls that I was blessed enough to get to play with are some of the most talented young women I have ever met. They inspired me every game and every practice to be better, work harder, and rise to the occasion. I've never wanted so bad to make my teammates proud of me, and to help them be as great as they were meant to be. These girls have helped me become a better person, and to learn to take responsibility for my actions and to always think of others before I ever think of myself. I'm never happier than when I've made one of my teammates happy in a tough situation. Let me say that I am also so thankful for the coaching we all received at this tournament. We all needed to be pushed to overcome our young, selfish, and yes I'll admit it, immature teenage minds. And we ended up not just getting pushed in that direction, but shoved with such intensity and passion that we couldn't help but feed off of it and improve.
Team to me is not a word. If it was just a word it would be black and white, plain, ordinary, one meaning, simple. In my mind, team is exact opposite of all that. It is toughness (both mental and physical), devotion, eagerness, selflessness, and a willingness to play and win not only for your own personal satisfaction but also for the building up of your teammates as people and athletes. When it all boils down, we're all playing a game, and a game isn't that serious. But the formation of strong young women who come to understand that anything is possible if you give yourself over to faith in yourself and in those around you is something far more serious and important. All of us, even our coaches, took a step closer to that level of greatness after this weekend. We'll fight our whole lives to get there, but if we take one step at a time, and take them all together, we'll get there. No matter if those steps take us down separate paths, we will always have each others backs. That is what my team is to me. They are my strength, my everlasting source of joy on and off the court, the people who bring the best out in me and make me a better person everyday and make me feel secure and invincible and loved. But most importantly, they are and always will be, my family.
"Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results."
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