Things Aren't Always What They Seem

Have you ever noticed how each individual person has their own movie playing across their face?

Yes, I'm aware of how weird that sounds, just bare with me for a moment.

What I mean is, you can often see exactly what a person is thinking about or feeling by studying their face. It seems like you can see right into their heart when they let their guard down and think that no one is paying attention. It's amazing some of the things that are revealed in these vulnerable moments.

I happened to be in first period this morning, and having just made the trek from my car in the gym parking lot to the front entrance of the school, en-route to chorus class (I could never handle any of my other headache-inducing classes that early, so yes, this is my first period. I'm aware that I'm a slacker.) and I was feeling very Tuesday-ish. For those of you who don't know, Tuesday-ish is that almost-cranky-but-not-quite-there-yet feeling that has a whole lot to do with how your Monday treated you. And let's face it, Mondays don't exactly have a reputation for being kind to us. I think my Tuesday-ishness also had to do with the fact that it was hot and muggy outside this morning, which contributed to my bad hair day. So you get the picture. I wasn't cranky, but I was pretty close. My hair was a mess (I envy all of you men out there), and I was hot and groggy. Great way to start things off. All the same, I hustled down the crowded, gross-cafeteria-breakfast-food-perfumed hallway (breakfast pizza surprise this morning I think), and arrived at my destination a few minutes before the bell rang.

As I pushed open the heavy wooden door and made my way inside I was greeted with the faces of a few of my fellow classmates, each looking as sleepy and annoyed as I felt. Ah, the camaraderie in that room. Save for the VERY few cheery-eyed morning people dotted around the space, we all dragged our feet and books towards our seats and proceeded to look like sitting zombies. Being a little early to arrive, I settled in to watch and make small talk as everyone else filed into the room. It's hilarious to me to see all the different faces of people when they walk in. Some are calm, some are annoyed, some plain out angry, some happy, some run-down, some indifferent. You can tell exactly what kind of morning they've had so far. That's the thing with young people, we wear our emotions like a huge neon sign on our foreheads for all the world to see. It can get pretty entertaining.

One particular person stood out to me in particular though this morning. You could immediately tell that her mood was not a normal one. As she walked in the door, she stared straight ahead, her neck and eyes never wavering from some fixed point in the distance that no one else could see. Her little face was somewhat swollen and red, and bore no evidence that she wore any of her usual amount of makeup. Adorned in sweats and a T-shirt, she emanated depression. She spoke to no one, but simply put her things down, pulled some chairs together, and laid across them with her head in a friend's lap. The friend said nothing, and wore the same empty stare on her face. Neither person moved, spoke, or even tried to comfort the other. They simply sat in accepted silence, lost in their own thoughts, a world away from the regular sounds and sights of the classroom.

What was amazing was that not one person made any move towards them to try and pry out what their seemingly mutual troubles were. Another thing about young people, we're nosy. We gossip, and we love a good story. So you can imagine my surprise when not one person out of my sixty-something person class bothered those girls. It was like everyone was afraid of what might happen if we broke their stupor. There seemed to be some sort of unseen barrier, some unspoken rule that we knew was inhumane to break. So we left them there, alone with their trials and tribulations. It really struck a chord with me. And not because I was in a music class. Ha-ha.

You never know what someone is going through. For example, you may be at a local restaurant, and have a waitress or waiter who does everything wrong. They get your orders wrong, they fumble over your drinks, or they make it seem like it is a huge burden just to get you an extra napkin. Therefore, you yourself become irritated and short-tempered and leave them no tip and complain to the manager. But what you might not know, is that same waiter or waitress could be upset because they didn't have the money to pay their rent, and had just gotten their eviction notice that morning. They could have just lost a family member. They could have had a customer before you be incredibly rude and cold-hearted towards them. It could be any number of things. But you, immediately assuming that they are just a jerk, react with the same amount of harshness towards them, making their bad day worse and ruining your own day as well.

This cycle of anger can be prevented. All that's needed is a little bit of kindness. Because you truly have no way of knowing what that person is going through. We should be building each other up, not helping to tear each other down. The world is a harsh enough place without us fighting amongst ourselves. People need and deserve compassion. One small act of kindness could make someones bad day or situation lighten up. Even if it's just a moment that they forget their worries, it's enough. They realize that there are in fact decent people out there. And they in turn might be more willing to show other people more patience and kindness than they might have before. Seeing others be compassionate to people they don't even know can warm even the coldest heart. So when I saw a friend of the somber chair-laying girl come up to her at the end of class and silently pat her leg, give her an easy smile and walk away, I cheered up considerably, and was in good spirits for the rest of the day. Something so simple and effortless can mean so much to people.

One thing that my dad has always told my brother and I really jumps out at me as I think about this sort of thing. He always says I don't care if people seem like they don't deserve your patience. I'm sure you aren't so easy to be nice to when your in a bad mood either. Just kill them with kindness. It's sort of a paradox, but it makes sense.

So the next time you encounter someone who is anything but polite to you, take a moment to give them the benefit of the doubt. Treat everyone with politeness, even if they're mean to you - not because they're nice, but because you are.

"A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble." - Charles H. Spurgeon