I think it's pretty interesting how certain things can make a certain person so very angry. It could be the smallest, most insignificant thing to you, but to someone else it sets off a bomb of heated words and turbulent feelings.Why do all of our individual fuses connect to something different?
Yesterday, I had the privilege of listening to a dear friend of mine vent more harshly than I have ever heard her speak. One of our teammates was (yet again) skipping practice because of other 'obligations'. Now, I won't say that I don't understand my friend's frustration, this being the fifth or sixth time our teammate has attended other events instead of our practice, but let me tell you, it certainly didn't get under my skin as much as it did hers! She was absolutely livid, just seething with retribution and contempt. This I could tell, and I wasn't even speaking directly to her, only corresponding through short, choppy text messages. So you can imagine how mad she was when only a simple text message conveyed such strong displeasure.
This did get me to thinking though, why do we all have those certain pet peeves? Those small little occurrences that push your buttons dead center and can sometimes go as far as ruining your whole day? Heck if I know, but I do know that we ALL have them, whether we'd like to admit it or not.
I will tell you, some of mine are exponentially stupid. They range from people driving a million miles under the speed limit to my mother making small comments on what I decided to wear that day. But regardless, they all have the potential to make me equally enraged and all together hard to deal with. There are things that I get angry about for only a few minutes, but then there are those that make me on edge and fuming for the majority of the day. I disgust myself on those days, because I unknowingly seem to pass on my aggravation to almost everyone I come in contact with. My snide, smart-aleck comments and retorts could fire up even the most docile people. I really must try and work on that.
I don't feel too horrible about it though most of the time, because everyone has those days when we let our current attitude dominate our mind and actions. I'm definitely not excusing this behavior, because I most certainly hate being at the attacking end of it, but I am saying that it happens to all of us, and I understand that. Also, on the flip side, I will say that I occaisionally find people exceedingly humerous when they're at their wits end over something that seems extrememly miniscule to me. But that seems to only infuriate them more, so I really should work on keeping my mouth shut then too!
I'm sure we could all work on reigning in our horrid torrents of feeling on those bad days, but I won't lie to you, my day has been made a few times at the hilarity of what we so jokingly call, pet peeves.
"I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation." -Whoopi Goldburg
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
"If you want to be happy, be."
It seems like I have taken a small blogging vacation for the past eight or nine days. I promised myself I wouldn't do that. But, I didn't want to bore any of you out there with my monotonous and unexciting life more than necessary, so in one way I did myself and everyone else a favor. I refuse to blog about only my life and how its going and what I'm doing all the time. I'm not saying that I will never do that, because Lord knows I'll break that promise eventually, but I am promising to only write on here when I get that feeling. You all know what I mean. That feeling that you have all these words built up in your head that have come from some recent experience that you find you simply must share even if no one really listens. At this moment in time, I have that feeling, and even though I have an exam in the morning and will more than likely regret staying up to write this, I'm going to write it, because I have to. Simple as that.
I was in my lovely English class today reviewing for our exam that we have this Thursday. I find myself situated as far back in the classroom as possible, my last name being close to the end of the alphabet and all. Not at all the position you want to be in when you find yourself struggling to focus. But, alas, that was my predicament today. Usually I can find a way to muddle through the hour and a half without falling asleep or losing concentration. No such luck today.
We were having a discussion (by 'we' I mean the front half of the class) about topics that we could potentially be given to write an essay about for one section of our exam. Our teacher gave us a sheet with the topics on them, and proceded to question us and let us talk amongst ourselves about our ideas and opinions on each topic. As I was reading and thinking, I can across one topic that really just sort of stopped me in my mental tracks. I knew my opinion on it, but could think of no valid argument that could be backed up by any type of common idea or literature. The topic read something like this: "Which do you think is more important; happiness, or responsibility? Write and explain three reasons to support your opinion."
I hardly listened to any other topic that was discussed, so absorbed was I in trying to figure out what I thought about that question and how I would answer it in a fashionable and intelligent way. I talked about it with the class, but I still have yet to completely arrange my thoughts. So I thought I would share what I have so far with you guys (meaning my two awesome followers- you guys rock, and anyone who stumbles upon this).
My opinion was, and still is, that responsibility is more important. I think so, because if you compare happiness to responsibility, responsibility is forever and thrust upon us, and happiness seems to wash in and out of our lives as we allow it to.You can go looking for happiness, and it will refuse to be found. You can go looking for responsibility, and boy, you will find it everywhere you turn.
I think that happiness eludes us so because we purposefully go looking for it. Happiness cannot be found, rather, it is made. First of all though, you must allow yourself to feel it and know when it is there. It can show up when you least expect it, like when you are the first one awake in the house, and sit enjoying your morning coffee in the early quiet. It just appears, without reason or cause. It just, is.
Earlier tonight my mom and I saw a new movie that just came out, called Eat. Pray. Love. Highly recommend it if you haven't gotten the chance to see it yet. It was about a woman, who went searching the world for herself so to speak. She went to Italy, India, and Bali to find happiness and balance in her heart and soul. Other than making me want to travel incredibly badly, it showed me this unusual and confusing path to happiness and contentment with oneself. In the end, it came down to the fact that you must allow yourself to feel this happiness, and not associate it with anything in particular. In other words, to be content, you must learn to let your mind clear and be filled with blissful nothingness for whatever period of time is available. This is harder than it sounds! How many times have you successfully thought of absolutely nothing? I can't think of a time when I wasn't thinking of things that I had to get done, things that I had to plan for, or things that I had to say. My mind is always busy with something, be it stupid or important. After watching this movie and having this discussion in class however, I am going to try to clear my head more, and give myself a few moments of profound nothingness whenever possible during the day. Yes, I am highly aware of how silly this sounds, but if you think about it, every idea seems silly in its beginnings.
"Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
I was in my lovely English class today reviewing for our exam that we have this Thursday. I find myself situated as far back in the classroom as possible, my last name being close to the end of the alphabet and all. Not at all the position you want to be in when you find yourself struggling to focus. But, alas, that was my predicament today. Usually I can find a way to muddle through the hour and a half without falling asleep or losing concentration. No such luck today.
We were having a discussion (by 'we' I mean the front half of the class) about topics that we could potentially be given to write an essay about for one section of our exam. Our teacher gave us a sheet with the topics on them, and proceded to question us and let us talk amongst ourselves about our ideas and opinions on each topic. As I was reading and thinking, I can across one topic that really just sort of stopped me in my mental tracks. I knew my opinion on it, but could think of no valid argument that could be backed up by any type of common idea or literature. The topic read something like this: "Which do you think is more important; happiness, or responsibility? Write and explain three reasons to support your opinion."
I hardly listened to any other topic that was discussed, so absorbed was I in trying to figure out what I thought about that question and how I would answer it in a fashionable and intelligent way. I talked about it with the class, but I still have yet to completely arrange my thoughts. So I thought I would share what I have so far with you guys (meaning my two awesome followers- you guys rock, and anyone who stumbles upon this).
My opinion was, and still is, that responsibility is more important. I think so, because if you compare happiness to responsibility, responsibility is forever and thrust upon us, and happiness seems to wash in and out of our lives as we allow it to.You can go looking for happiness, and it will refuse to be found. You can go looking for responsibility, and boy, you will find it everywhere you turn.
I think that happiness eludes us so because we purposefully go looking for it. Happiness cannot be found, rather, it is made. First of all though, you must allow yourself to feel it and know when it is there. It can show up when you least expect it, like when you are the first one awake in the house, and sit enjoying your morning coffee in the early quiet. It just appears, without reason or cause. It just, is.
Earlier tonight my mom and I saw a new movie that just came out, called Eat. Pray. Love. Highly recommend it if you haven't gotten the chance to see it yet. It was about a woman, who went searching the world for herself so to speak. She went to Italy, India, and Bali to find happiness and balance in her heart and soul. Other than making me want to travel incredibly badly, it showed me this unusual and confusing path to happiness and contentment with oneself. In the end, it came down to the fact that you must allow yourself to feel this happiness, and not associate it with anything in particular. In other words, to be content, you must learn to let your mind clear and be filled with blissful nothingness for whatever period of time is available. This is harder than it sounds! How many times have you successfully thought of absolutely nothing? I can't think of a time when I wasn't thinking of things that I had to get done, things that I had to plan for, or things that I had to say. My mind is always busy with something, be it stupid or important. After watching this movie and having this discussion in class however, I am going to try to clear my head more, and give myself a few moments of profound nothingness whenever possible during the day. Yes, I am highly aware of how silly this sounds, but if you think about it, every idea seems silly in its beginnings.
"Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
Monday, January 10, 2011
What a Weekend
What does everyone do on their weekends? Because until this one, mine are all usually equally uneventful and completely boring.
This weekend so far has been an exception though. Went to a neighbor's house Saturday night to babysit and ended up having a blast. This is somewhat surprising, considering the fact that three 11-year-old boys and a 5-year-old girl should normally be slightly difficult to get along with for more than two hours. We were though, together for a total of six hours, none of which consisted of an exemplary amount of whining, fighting, or crying. Quite an accomplishment. We did stay busy though, baking a cake, figuring out the awesome easy-bake oven (got to love those things), me learning how to play 'Yeti', and the consumption of an enormous amount of apple juice and pizza. An all around successful and enjoyable night with those sweet kids.
Sunday was very plain, save for the always fun volleyball practice in Laurens County. Today though, was pretty amazing! For those of you who don't watch the weather channel, the upstate of South Carolina, a little of North Carolina, and the majority of Georgia got buckets and buckets of snow Sunday night and this morning. I don't remember another time when we had so much snow here. We were all so excited!
Spent much of the day watching it fall and sledding for the first time in years behind the house. Had a blast again with those same four sweet kids, even though we all almost froze to death from lack of appropriate snow clothes.
I will say though it isn't as pretty and fun anymore, the freezing rain and ice kind of sucked it up. But it's been almost like a mini-holiday because no one can drive anywhere or do anything, so for once everyone just gets to hang out together, which has been nice. Anyway, no school again tomorrow so it's bound to be another relaxing snowy day in the South. Think I might move a little farther north so this could happen more often. The lovely quiet and white outside so beautiful and pure you can't help but get lost in it. And I of course, rather enjoy getting lost.
"Advice is like snow; the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into, the mind."
This weekend so far has been an exception though. Went to a neighbor's house Saturday night to babysit and ended up having a blast. This is somewhat surprising, considering the fact that three 11-year-old boys and a 5-year-old girl should normally be slightly difficult to get along with for more than two hours. We were though, together for a total of six hours, none of which consisted of an exemplary amount of whining, fighting, or crying. Quite an accomplishment. We did stay busy though, baking a cake, figuring out the awesome easy-bake oven (got to love those things), me learning how to play 'Yeti', and the consumption of an enormous amount of apple juice and pizza. An all around successful and enjoyable night with those sweet kids.
Sunday was very plain, save for the always fun volleyball practice in Laurens County. Today though, was pretty amazing! For those of you who don't watch the weather channel, the upstate of South Carolina, a little of North Carolina, and the majority of Georgia got buckets and buckets of snow Sunday night and this morning. I don't remember another time when we had so much snow here. We were all so excited!
Spent much of the day watching it fall and sledding for the first time in years behind the house. Had a blast again with those same four sweet kids, even though we all almost froze to death from lack of appropriate snow clothes.
I will say though it isn't as pretty and fun anymore, the freezing rain and ice kind of sucked it up. But it's been almost like a mini-holiday because no one can drive anywhere or do anything, so for once everyone just gets to hang out together, which has been nice. Anyway, no school again tomorrow so it's bound to be another relaxing snowy day in the South. Think I might move a little farther north so this could happen more often. The lovely quiet and white outside so beautiful and pure you can't help but get lost in it. And I of course, rather enjoy getting lost.
"Advice is like snow; the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into, the mind."
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
If you think about it, it's one of the most powerful and magical phenomenons in our world today. It's one of the only subjects left in this society that no one has been able to come up with accurate definition for. It is undefinable and untouchable, although it does a tremendous job of touching us even in the most shadowed corners of our souls. Music is the only thing on this earth that never fails to reach people, no matter their culture, religion, race, personality, or present circumstance.
If you haven't noticed already, this is one of my weird thoughts that I think about whenever I have a little quiet moment to myself. Everyone might not want to admit it, but I think we all have those kinds of thoughts. The ones that you think about for a little while when your mind isn't otherwise occupied, and when it does become occupied, you store it away to ponder about again when you next get the chance. Don't lie, you know you've done it at one time or another.
But going back to the whole music thing, I wanted to write about it because in my opinion it is one of the most precious things in the world. We use it to better describe ourselves and to tell stories about pieces of our lives that were particularly enjoyable or even devastating. I remember one of our choral directors at school telling us that "Music is what feelings sound like". I don't think anyone could sum it up any better than that. And you know, people are all about telling how they feel, sometimes regardless of whether we want to listen or not!
So yes, it paints a picture of our lives, but it can also be used for communication. If you've ever been in a church (which I really hope all of you have) then you know that usually before the preacher preaches his message, the congregation sings, because it says that the "voices of God's people singing His praises are pleasing to His ear". Hey, if the Big Man Upstairs loves music, it must be pretty amazing to say the least. It can also be used to communicate and reach people who speak different languages, those that are mentally disabled, and those that suffer from sicknesses like depression.
Songs can be life-changing. I heard a story not long ago that proves this. A new song was played on the radio by some new music group, and not long after it played the station got a phone call from a man who said that he wanted to know the name of the song that they just played, because he had been contemplating suicide and the song had changed his mind and therefore his whole life. Like I said, it touches people like nothing else can. We will probably never fully be able to understand it, but then again, I don't know if I would ever really WANT to figure it out. Secrets are more captivating than common knowledge.
It can make us laugh, make us cry, comfort us, empower, enlighten, and encourage us, and tell the truth when nothing/no one else will. What else can do all of that in as little as two and a half minutes? (Even though there are those rare 5+ minute songs too.) It is also in the earth itself when we care to take notice. The birds, bugs, wind, trees, streams, and storms seem to sing their own songs as well. Guess its just another one of those puzzling but lovely daily miracles that we get to enjoy.
"I have my own particular sorrows, loves, delights; and you have yours. But sorrow, gladness, yearning, hope, love, belong to all of us, in all times and in all places. Music is the only means whereby we feel these emotions in their universality." - H.A. Overstreet
If you haven't noticed already, this is one of my weird thoughts that I think about whenever I have a little quiet moment to myself. Everyone might not want to admit it, but I think we all have those kinds of thoughts. The ones that you think about for a little while when your mind isn't otherwise occupied, and when it does become occupied, you store it away to ponder about again when you next get the chance. Don't lie, you know you've done it at one time or another.
But going back to the whole music thing, I wanted to write about it because in my opinion it is one of the most precious things in the world. We use it to better describe ourselves and to tell stories about pieces of our lives that were particularly enjoyable or even devastating. I remember one of our choral directors at school telling us that "Music is what feelings sound like". I don't think anyone could sum it up any better than that. And you know, people are all about telling how they feel, sometimes regardless of whether we want to listen or not!
So yes, it paints a picture of our lives, but it can also be used for communication. If you've ever been in a church (which I really hope all of you have) then you know that usually before the preacher preaches his message, the congregation sings, because it says that the "voices of God's people singing His praises are pleasing to His ear". Hey, if the Big Man Upstairs loves music, it must be pretty amazing to say the least. It can also be used to communicate and reach people who speak different languages, those that are mentally disabled, and those that suffer from sicknesses like depression.
Songs can be life-changing. I heard a story not long ago that proves this. A new song was played on the radio by some new music group, and not long after it played the station got a phone call from a man who said that he wanted to know the name of the song that they just played, because he had been contemplating suicide and the song had changed his mind and therefore his whole life. Like I said, it touches people like nothing else can. We will probably never fully be able to understand it, but then again, I don't know if I would ever really WANT to figure it out. Secrets are more captivating than common knowledge.
It can make us laugh, make us cry, comfort us, empower, enlighten, and encourage us, and tell the truth when nothing/no one else will. What else can do all of that in as little as two and a half minutes? (Even though there are those rare 5+ minute songs too.) It is also in the earth itself when we care to take notice. The birds, bugs, wind, trees, streams, and storms seem to sing their own songs as well. Guess its just another one of those puzzling but lovely daily miracles that we get to enjoy.
"I have my own particular sorrows, loves, delights; and you have yours. But sorrow, gladness, yearning, hope, love, belong to all of us, in all times and in all places. Music is the only means whereby we feel these emotions in their universality." - H.A. Overstreet
Saturday, January 1, 2011
"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us."
It seems like 2010 was more meaningful and quick to pass than any other year that I can remember. Maybe because it was the year in which I did the most growing up so far. Or maybe because it was the year in which I first began to plan for what my future might be like. Or it could have been because 2010 was my year for change, both wanted and unwanted, positive and negative.
I don't think anyone really plans when they want to grow up. Rather, I think it just happens suddenly when we least expect it and hurriedly goes about ripping apart everything and everyone that we thought we knew. Most of the time it's merciless as well, and refuses to hold back the truths in life that we had once shielded ourselves from. Who would have thought it was what we always yearned for back in our very earliest days of childhood. This year I've learned, and am still learning, that growing up is NOT everything it's cracked up to be.
Contentment seems to come in waves throughout my life, sometimes staying for months at time and sometimes only a few hours. I was not going through one of those waves at the start of this school year. At the time my wave was as rough as they come, bringing difficulties and change instead of contentment. However, it wasn't school, or anyone around me that changed, just me. I changed and am still changing almost beyond recognition, much to the surprise and confusion of those around me. I have come to understand now that I have spent most of my short life trying to avoid any type of situation that might make me feel too passionately or make me want to make my emotions known. Now I know that I was terrified of people really knowing me, because there was always that chance that they might not like what they found. I think I knew this before 2010 too but was just too lazy or too scared to do anything about it, so I guess God had to give me a few strong pushes to get me going the right way.
You could say that I've had my eyes opened somewhat, so now I don't view exposing my thoughts and fears as a sign of some sort of weakness. For some reason, I am now not afraid to be an individual. I'm still trying to figure out why God would want me to be more open to others, because from what I've experienced sometimes when other people know what you feel and think, they have better opportunities to hurt you. But I guess I need to learn how to trust too. Who knows. Maybe I'll figure that one out in 2011.
So overall I can say that 2010 was definitely an eventful year, but I wouldn't have changed it even if I could. Hopefully 2011 will open and possibly even close a few more doors in my life. I'm sort of looking forward to it to be honest. The older I get the more amazed I am by how far I still have to go to reach my intended potential. I highly desire to obtain that level of pure peacefulness, that knowing that I have done everything and said everything that was expected of me, and even if I do happen to fall, slide, stumble, and crawl my way to that state of mind it will have been well worth it. After all, successfully conquering life wouldn't be any fun at all if it was easy.
Happy New Year!
I don't think anyone really plans when they want to grow up. Rather, I think it just happens suddenly when we least expect it and hurriedly goes about ripping apart everything and everyone that we thought we knew. Most of the time it's merciless as well, and refuses to hold back the truths in life that we had once shielded ourselves from. Who would have thought it was what we always yearned for back in our very earliest days of childhood. This year I've learned, and am still learning, that growing up is NOT everything it's cracked up to be.
Contentment seems to come in waves throughout my life, sometimes staying for months at time and sometimes only a few hours. I was not going through one of those waves at the start of this school year. At the time my wave was as rough as they come, bringing difficulties and change instead of contentment. However, it wasn't school, or anyone around me that changed, just me. I changed and am still changing almost beyond recognition, much to the surprise and confusion of those around me. I have come to understand now that I have spent most of my short life trying to avoid any type of situation that might make me feel too passionately or make me want to make my emotions known. Now I know that I was terrified of people really knowing me, because there was always that chance that they might not like what they found. I think I knew this before 2010 too but was just too lazy or too scared to do anything about it, so I guess God had to give me a few strong pushes to get me going the right way.
You could say that I've had my eyes opened somewhat, so now I don't view exposing my thoughts and fears as a sign of some sort of weakness. For some reason, I am now not afraid to be an individual. I'm still trying to figure out why God would want me to be more open to others, because from what I've experienced sometimes when other people know what you feel and think, they have better opportunities to hurt you. But I guess I need to learn how to trust too. Who knows. Maybe I'll figure that one out in 2011.
So overall I can say that 2010 was definitely an eventful year, but I wouldn't have changed it even if I could. Hopefully 2011 will open and possibly even close a few more doors in my life. I'm sort of looking forward to it to be honest. The older I get the more amazed I am by how far I still have to go to reach my intended potential. I highly desire to obtain that level of pure peacefulness, that knowing that I have done everything and said everything that was expected of me, and even if I do happen to fall, slide, stumble, and crawl my way to that state of mind it will have been well worth it. After all, successfully conquering life wouldn't be any fun at all if it was easy.
Happy New Year!
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