Life isn't fair.
The older I get, the more this is tattooed into my brain. The whole world seems to be smack in the middle of an unfairness sandwich, with selfish people being one piece of bread, stubborn people as the other piece, and the world being the bologna, turkey, ham, or whatever it is you prefer in between. There's also fantastic condiments such as politics, racism, sexism, and greed that get slathered on there as well. You know, to give it some flavor. Can't have a bland, peaceful sandwich now can we? Oh no, that would just be way too easy.
Why is it that we as a society are so unforgiving and unfair lately? Why is our whole country in debt so deep that we would give the Mariana Trench a run for its money? Why is the unemployment rate rising faster than ever before? Why does no one seem to truly care about the average, everyday citizen? WHY?
I can tell you in one word: SELFISHNESS. That seems to be the biggest issue. In my opinion at least. The majority of people in this country today could care less about anyone other than themselves and their immediate family. This includes all of our political figures too if you ask me. Our whole system is getting more and more messed up every single day. It's becoming less about the people and their needs, and more about how much money our leaders can make for themselves and how nice their retirement package might be.
And can someone please tell me why we even have Republicans, Democrats, and Independents? What's the point of that? Just because we all have different opinions, we have to separate ourselves into different groups. We have to choose a side to be on. Last time I checked, I thought we were all supposed to be on the same side.
The issue of differing opinions is one that is decades old and apparent in every place in society. Everyone thinks differently, so naturally there's going to be some arguments. But for God's sake people, why must we split ourselves up? Our feeling of nationalism and pride for our beautiful country only weakens as we separate. It's like we're all back on the playground in elementary school, with two groups of children arguing about whose turn it is to go on the swings. One group wins for a little while and enjoys their spoils while the other group stomps off to the far corner and plots about how to regain supremacy over those darn swings. It's a back and forth, never ending cycle. The children are all the same and all go to the same school, but yet they fight amongst themselves just because they think differently. Things can get so heated sometimes that no one wins a turn at all, so engrossed are they at winning the fight. They become so enthralled in outsmarting the opponent, that they forget what it is they were even fighting for. There's a reason that there were no such things as 'political parties' when the Constitution was signed in 1787, and that nothing concerning anything like them are mentioned in it. They weren't in the plan. Back then, we were one nation, with one government, and one group of people all wanting the same thing. Now, unfortunately, things have drastically changed.
Other than the issue of all the different political parties, one thing has always gotten under my skin when it comes to politics, and that is how much and how little the president does. Now nobody bite my head off yet. These are just my personal, and probably very flawed, thoughts. I'm well aware of how busy he is, but good Lord, he doesn't even write his own speeches! What's up with that? I mean, does he even know what he's saying when he reads that teleprompter? Does he fully agree with the points and opinions in it? Does he even know the person who wrote that hour long speech? I know he's constantly working, but speaking to the American people to me is one of the most important things a president does, and writing his own speeches should be on the high end of his to-do list. It's not like he does one everyday. It can be like high school, where all the teachers want us to stretch out projects over a long period of time instead of doing it all the night before it's due. You can't tell me that if he took thirty minutes to an hour every day or so an sat down with his advisers and wrote a few paragraphs of his next speech that it wouldn't be as good at the pre-written ones that these people feed him. I mean come on, people elected him because they liked HIS ideas and opinions and thoughts, not some payed writer's.
So basically, huge economic slumps suck. The end.
"True individual freedom cannot exist without economic security and independence. People who are hungry and out of a job are the stuff of which dictatorships are made." - Franklin D. Roosevelt
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Modeling of the Mind
What do you think people see when they look at you? Just take a moment and think about it. Do they see arrogance? Kindness? Anger? Patience? What is it that you are displaying for them to absorb and remember you by? Some people never think about it, when in fact it should be an imperative piece of knowledge that each person knows about themselves. What are you putting out there for the world to see, and does anyone even really notice?
One thing everyone should know, is that people are constantly observing each other, and when I say that I mean it in the least creepy way possible. You know what I'm talking about. Say you're in the local McDonald's (Let me say I'm sorry for the constant food comparisons, but a good Micky D's large fry is constantly in the back of my mind telling me that the honey roasted peanuts and Diet Mountain Dew that always accompanies me to my desk does nothing to sway the snack craving one always gets around three o'clock in the afternoon. Oh the horrors of fast food.) and you hear the person in front of you order three Big Mac's, two large fries, and an Oreo Mcflurry to go. You immediately have thoughts along the lines of 'Gosh what a cow! Who orders all of that in one go?' rushing through your consciousness. You then take a step back and quickly survey their body weight and style to check if the crime of calories fits the suspect. We've all done it, but that grease-craving individual in front of you usually has no idea you noticed anything about their order, much less had a brain battle deciding if they might actually be able to consume such a beefy meal, and used variables such as their current body weight and appearance to help form your hypocritical hypothesis. (Let's remember you're in line yourself, so you aren't exactly guilt free there buddy.) But anyway, you get what I'm saying, we notice each other more than we think.
This subject was brought to my attention yesterday afternoon when I received an email on Facebook from a teammate of mine concerning herself and the practice that we had had earlier that day. It read:
"Hey girl ;)
I just wanted to say thank you for encouraging me today in weight lifting . It really helped .
Just melt my heart why don't you.
Now please don't think I'm writing this to brag about how great of a person I am, because that is certainly not the case. I suck at being nice most of the time just like any other moody teenager. But I really wanted to share this with you guys because it shocked me so much. I never realised anyone ever took notice of my behavior. Much less would ask for my help with their own. Talk about an eye-opener, and the fact that she had the maturity to say anything in the first place just amazed me.
One thing you all should know about me, is that I'm never happier than when I'm out on that volleyball court. My demeanor changes completely from being a passive, calm person into this annoyingly cheery little girl who is just overjoyed at getting to run around and play ball with the people I love. My team is my family and together we do some crazy, awful, and amazing things. They might as well be my blood-relatives, because I would do anything for any one of them, and am constantly trying to make them as giddy and annoying as I am when we play and work. But until yesterday, I never thought anyone noticed. It just goes to show you that little things really can make a difference to those around you, even if you don't know it. So the next time you go out, think about how you might be being perceived by people, because you never know who you might be impacting; who's mindset you could help change. Go out with the goal of being a role model, one that can help us make this big place we live in all the better.
"People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy." - Oliver Goldsmith
One thing everyone should know, is that people are constantly observing each other, and when I say that I mean it in the least creepy way possible. You know what I'm talking about. Say you're in the local McDonald's (Let me say I'm sorry for the constant food comparisons, but a good Micky D's large fry is constantly in the back of my mind telling me that the honey roasted peanuts and Diet Mountain Dew that always accompanies me to my desk does nothing to sway the snack craving one always gets around three o'clock in the afternoon. Oh the horrors of fast food.) and you hear the person in front of you order three Big Mac's, two large fries, and an Oreo Mcflurry to go. You immediately have thoughts along the lines of 'Gosh what a cow! Who orders all of that in one go?' rushing through your consciousness. You then take a step back and quickly survey their body weight and style to check if the crime of calories fits the suspect. We've all done it, but that grease-craving individual in front of you usually has no idea you noticed anything about their order, much less had a brain battle deciding if they might actually be able to consume such a beefy meal, and used variables such as their current body weight and appearance to help form your hypocritical hypothesis. (Let's remember you're in line yourself, so you aren't exactly guilt free there buddy.) But anyway, you get what I'm saying, we notice each other more than we think.
This subject was brought to my attention yesterday afternoon when I received an email on Facebook from a teammate of mine concerning herself and the practice that we had had earlier that day. It read:
"Hey girl ;)
I just wanted to say thank you for encouraging me today in weight lifting . It really helped .& I know I get upset & stuff in prac but that's only bc I get frustrated bc we all work really hard & things still don't go right so I was wondering If you could help me get better at being more positive with everyone that would be great :) I don't mean what I say it just comes out & I notice how your really good at staying positive w everyone so I was just wondering . Thanks girl ! ;)"
I don't mean what I say it just comes out & I notice how your really good at staying positive w everyone so I was just wondering . Thanks girl ! ;)"Just melt my heart why don't you.
Now please don't think I'm writing this to brag about how great of a person I am, because that is certainly not the case. I suck at being nice most of the time just like any other moody teenager. But I really wanted to share this with you guys because it shocked me so much. I never realised anyone ever took notice of my behavior. Much less would ask for my help with their own. Talk about an eye-opener, and the fact that she had the maturity to say anything in the first place just amazed me.
One thing you all should know about me, is that I'm never happier than when I'm out on that volleyball court. My demeanor changes completely from being a passive, calm person into this annoyingly cheery little girl who is just overjoyed at getting to run around and play ball with the people I love. My team is my family and together we do some crazy, awful, and amazing things. They might as well be my blood-relatives, because I would do anything for any one of them, and am constantly trying to make them as giddy and annoying as I am when we play and work. But until yesterday, I never thought anyone noticed. It just goes to show you that little things really can make a difference to those around you, even if you don't know it. So the next time you go out, think about how you might be being perceived by people, because you never know who you might be impacting; who's mindset you could help change. Go out with the goal of being a role model, one that can help us make this big place we live in all the better.
"People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy." - Oliver Goldsmith
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Heaven on Earth
Two weeks is a long time.
It doesn't sound very long, but when spent in only one place it seems endless; a moment in time that suspends itself from all other pieces of our everyday lives. There are so many things that one could get done in two weeks, if one wanted. I on the other hand, chose to spend my two weeks in Captiva Island, Florida becoming a professional beach bum.
Every year, my family takes a two week trip to this amazing little island. Located right off the coast of Ft. Myers, Florida, it is a tiny hidden gem in the treasure that is the Gulf of Mexico. Being only four miles long and only a half mile wide, you can imagine how easy it is to pass by.
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Getting to that little red dot on the map from my home takes roughly thirteen hours by car. I cannot say enough how much I adore my ipod on this drive. Praise be to Apple!
Our secret little paradise is merely a home away from home now. My family has been coming here for over forty years, so we're quite past the point of being tourists.
Every year the trip is fantastic, but this year has been even more so than usual. The wildlife has been surreal. A few days ago, while fishing off of the dock behind our house on the bay side of the island, a wild manatee swam right up to us and proceeded to take a nice little shower and a drink from the hose we had running on the side of the dock.
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He stayed barely half a foot away from the dock until we had to go inside and turn the hose off. Silly guy seemed a bit disgruntled when we cut his nice shower short.
Captiva is the most peaceful place I've ever been to. There is no rushing around, no extreme amount of people, not even one traffic light. Stress has no meaning here, and all worries about work, school, or whatever is lost as soon as you cross the bridge onto the island. People here have a different way about them, and easygoing, carefree and friendly nature that can't be captured anywhere else. Some call it island magic, but I think the absence of so many things that are found on the mainland creates a different mind set in people. There are no chain restaurants, grocery stores, or shops, save for one Dairy Queen on Captiva's sister island, Sanibel. That means no Walmart, no McDonald's, no mall. (A few of you reading this just fell out of your chair.) But somehow no one really cares. All there is here are two independently owned grocery stores (both about a quarter of the size of your average Walmart), a handful of surf shops, and of course a number of restaurants found no where else. Other than the one Dairy Queen (no idea how that sucker even got here) there is nothing that is similar to anything found on the mainland.
Captiva changes people. It makes one feel as if time has no meaning, as if there is nothing and no one surrounding us save for the four miles of beach and cottages. Of course, island life isn't for everyone. Those people that can never slow down, can never just stop and do nothing for once in their life, would never enjoy a vacation here. There isn't a multitude of things to do, no theme park, no huge attraction, save for maybe a few jet ski rides, some deep sea fishing, and maybe a para sailing trip. Other than that, the island itself is enough for most people. It has the ability to erase the mind's usual and somewhat annoying thoughts and replace them with gull calls, soft sand, cool breezes, and the smell and feel of ocean spray. There is simply nothing like it. I'm hoping and praying that I will forever be able to enjoy and appreciate such a special place. Just another one of those simple, wonderful things that life has to offer.
"The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea." - Isak Dinesen
It doesn't sound very long, but when spent in only one place it seems endless; a moment in time that suspends itself from all other pieces of our everyday lives. There are so many things that one could get done in two weeks, if one wanted. I on the other hand, chose to spend my two weeks in Captiva Island, Florida becoming a professional beach bum.
Every year, my family takes a two week trip to this amazing little island. Located right off the coast of Ft. Myers, Florida, it is a tiny hidden gem in the treasure that is the Gulf of Mexico. Being only four miles long and only a half mile wide, you can imagine how easy it is to pass by.
Our secret little paradise is merely a home away from home now. My family has been coming here for over forty years, so we're quite past the point of being tourists.
Every year the trip is fantastic, but this year has been even more so than usual. The wildlife has been surreal. A few days ago, while fishing off of the dock behind our house on the bay side of the island, a wild manatee swam right up to us and proceeded to take a nice little shower and a drink from the hose we had running on the side of the dock.
Captiva is the most peaceful place I've ever been to. There is no rushing around, no extreme amount of people, not even one traffic light. Stress has no meaning here, and all worries about work, school, or whatever is lost as soon as you cross the bridge onto the island. People here have a different way about them, and easygoing, carefree and friendly nature that can't be captured anywhere else. Some call it island magic, but I think the absence of so many things that are found on the mainland creates a different mind set in people. There are no chain restaurants, grocery stores, or shops, save for one Dairy Queen on Captiva's sister island, Sanibel. That means no Walmart, no McDonald's, no mall. (A few of you reading this just fell out of your chair.) But somehow no one really cares. All there is here are two independently owned grocery stores (both about a quarter of the size of your average Walmart), a handful of surf shops, and of course a number of restaurants found no where else. Other than the one Dairy Queen (no idea how that sucker even got here) there is nothing that is similar to anything found on the mainland.
Captiva changes people. It makes one feel as if time has no meaning, as if there is nothing and no one surrounding us save for the four miles of beach and cottages. Of course, island life isn't for everyone. Those people that can never slow down, can never just stop and do nothing for once in their life, would never enjoy a vacation here. There isn't a multitude of things to do, no theme park, no huge attraction, save for maybe a few jet ski rides, some deep sea fishing, and maybe a para sailing trip. Other than that, the island itself is enough for most people. It has the ability to erase the mind's usual and somewhat annoying thoughts and replace them with gull calls, soft sand, cool breezes, and the smell and feel of ocean spray. There is simply nothing like it. I'm hoping and praying that I will forever be able to enjoy and appreciate such a special place. Just another one of those simple, wonderful things that life has to offer.
"The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea." - Isak Dinesen
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Mothers and Dictators
It seems that I've taken a rather long vacation from blogging. One month and three days to be exact. It feels like so much longer than that though. The writer and English freak in me has been writhing and screaming to get out since about week two of my blogging lapse, and is now beyond my control. So here I am finally with time to give in to my questionable cravings that consist only of words and the repetitive clicking of computer keys.
It has been one week and two days since school has ended. I will have you all know that I have successfully made it through my sophomore year of high school with minimal damage. But anyway, summer is here now however and I can't quite bare the thought of school at the moment so I will not expand on any of that just yet. Right now I have a story to tell; a dilemma if you will. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, and I can't come up with any plausible answers, so I figured that I'd ask all of you lovely bloggers out there your opinion on the matter.
Children are supposed to respect their parents. They are supposed to obey their parents. They are supposed to listen, perform, and behave as their parents wish. That's just how things work. Parents have the power, and that's fine. But what happens when they purposefully abuse that power over their children? What can the child do? These questions presented themselves after I heard a very disturbing story one night from my closest friend, and I'm having trouble trying to answer them by myself.
That night, my friend, her boyfriend, and I had just arrived at a Chinese restaurant after departing from a rather boring graduation party. Now let me tell you, the Fiji Express is quite the bustling place at 9p.m. on a Friday night. All of one car was there when we pulled up, and I'm pretty sure that was just one of the employees. But that's to be expected when you live in a small southern town like us. Not to say that the cuisine wasn't delicious, but when the people behind the counter look more Latino than Asian, you can pretty much bet that you are receiving the most American-ified Asian food ever, which is why MOST Chinese food-craving people would rather just go down the street to the Chinese buffet where you can get the "real stuff". You know, the place where they offer the fifteen types of shellfish you've never heard of, the fish on a stick that's still twitching when you put it on your plate, and of course the always tasty pig intestine. Personally, I'd rather just have my cheap chicken and rice thank you very much, which is why we opted for Fiji Express's small, scruffy-looking ramshackle shack instead of Great Wall's impeccably plastered square fortress.
Throughout the whole getting there, walking in, ordering, and picking out a booth process, my friend 'Savannah' had been in unusually low spirits. She and her boyfriend of almost two years, 'Drew', couldn't stop arguing. With both of them being my friends, I had refused to take sides all night, but in my mind I was really starting to sympathize with Drew. Savannah, the usually always cheerful, easy to please and hilariously funny girl was being impossible to him. She had a problem with everything that night. Where he sat, what he said, what food he ordered, his drink, his attitude, EVERYTHING. So when we finally got settled into our booth at the back of the restaurant, I, being my confrontation-hating self, did my best to lighten her mood, which I'm usually pretty good at since I know her so well. But that night she would not be charmed. She stayed in low spirits the whole meal, until I finally just stopped trying.
When we had finally finished our food and were giving our leftovers over to the bottomless pit that is Drew, (Another plus of small, cheap shacks: one plate of food could feed a small army. They don't mess around with their portion size.) I asked Savannah point blank what the heck was going on with her. The answer I got made me angrier than I've been in a very long time.
Drew was graduating the next day from a high school in the county next to ours, and Savannah had of course been planning on attending this momentous occasion. She and Drew had been together forever in teenage dating terms, and naturally it was very important to her that she see him graduate. She told me that she had made her mother aware of the date that it was happening (June 4th) many months in advance so that she would be sure to not plan anything on that day, and she said her mother had agreed to let her go. Savannah then went on to say that this past week she had been eating breakfast when her mother walked in to the kitchen and promptly told her to remember that she had to take the SAT test on June 4th.
"But Mom," she had said, "that's the day Drew is graduating."
"Oh I know, but this will be better for you than going to that." her mother had replied offhandedly.
At this point in the story, I could barely keep my seat. I was so angered by her mother's spitefulness. She had knowingly made it so that Savannah couldn't go to Drew's graduation. One thing you all should know, is that Savannah's mother has wanted her to break up with Drew for a while now. None of us are sure why. The two of them have never gotten into trouble, they are always on time for curfew, and Drew is nothing but respectful towards both of her parents. Neither of them smoke, neither of them drink, and Drew is a good guy towards Savannah. He treats her right and respects her. The only thing I can come up with that might be a problem for her mother is the age difference between them. Savannah is sixteen, while Drew is eighteen, and I can understand her mother being uncomfortable with this, but why then didn't she say anything about that two years ago when they first started seeing each other? Why did she even let them date? Why would she let them stay together so long and then change her mind?
After hearing her story, Drew and I fully understood Savannah's bad temper. Both of us were beside ourselves with anger and frustration. But what could she do? She respected her mother too much to ever just plainly disobey her. She would have to miss Drew's graduation, a once in a lifetime thing, to take the SAT, which you can take once every month or so. The injustice of the whole thing still lights a fire in me even today.
What I'm still trying to figure out is, did she have a choice? Was her mother so much in the wrong that it wouldn't have been so horrible for Savannah to deliberately disobey her? As kids do we even have rights when it comes to our parent's decisions?
I arrived home that evening to an empty house (Both of my parents, my brother, and two of his little friends and their families were at the lake for the weekend, and I had been given the choice of staying home on my own for a few nights or accompanying them for three days of fun with three eleven-year-olds, one five year old, and a bunch of middle-aged beer-loving folks all crammed in a tiny lakeside cabin. Needless to say I politely declined that incredibly tempting invitation in favor of the companionship of my dog and the television.) and called my mother to tell her Savannah's story. She one hundred percent agreed with me, and got angry herself at poor Savannah's predicament. I told her that I was at the point where I wanted to tell Savannah to just go to the graduation anyway, regardless of her mom's rules, but that I knew she just couldn't. My mom was at a loss for words, torn between her role as a fellow mother and being completely on Savannah's side. The whole thing was just a mess.
Savannah, being the good daughter that she is, went that next day and took her test, and didn't even get the opportunity to see Drew that day at all. How in the world a mother could be so shamelessly cruel is beyond me.
Parents are wonderful, don't get me wrong. They brought us into this world and cared for and nurtured us from the beginnings of our existence, which makes it natural that they be the ones that are in charge. But is it possible that they sometimes abuse this power? And if they do, is there anything the children can really do about it? Kids have rights, yes, but do those rights extend to their parents as well? Do we really have a choice? I wish I knew.
"Children do not constitute anyone's property: they are neither the property of their parents nor even of society. They belong only to their own future freedom." - Mikhail Bakunin
It has been one week and two days since school has ended. I will have you all know that I have successfully made it through my sophomore year of high school with minimal damage. But anyway, summer is here now however and I can't quite bare the thought of school at the moment so I will not expand on any of that just yet. Right now I have a story to tell; a dilemma if you will. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, and I can't come up with any plausible answers, so I figured that I'd ask all of you lovely bloggers out there your opinion on the matter.
Children are supposed to respect their parents. They are supposed to obey their parents. They are supposed to listen, perform, and behave as their parents wish. That's just how things work. Parents have the power, and that's fine. But what happens when they purposefully abuse that power over their children? What can the child do? These questions presented themselves after I heard a very disturbing story one night from my closest friend, and I'm having trouble trying to answer them by myself.
That night, my friend, her boyfriend, and I had just arrived at a Chinese restaurant after departing from a rather boring graduation party. Now let me tell you, the Fiji Express is quite the bustling place at 9p.m. on a Friday night. All of one car was there when we pulled up, and I'm pretty sure that was just one of the employees. But that's to be expected when you live in a small southern town like us. Not to say that the cuisine wasn't delicious, but when the people behind the counter look more Latino than Asian, you can pretty much bet that you are receiving the most American-ified Asian food ever, which is why MOST Chinese food-craving people would rather just go down the street to the Chinese buffet where you can get the "real stuff". You know, the place where they offer the fifteen types of shellfish you've never heard of, the fish on a stick that's still twitching when you put it on your plate, and of course the always tasty pig intestine. Personally, I'd rather just have my cheap chicken and rice thank you very much, which is why we opted for Fiji Express's small, scruffy-looking ramshackle shack instead of Great Wall's impeccably plastered square fortress.
Throughout the whole getting there, walking in, ordering, and picking out a booth process, my friend 'Savannah' had been in unusually low spirits. She and her boyfriend of almost two years, 'Drew', couldn't stop arguing. With both of them being my friends, I had refused to take sides all night, but in my mind I was really starting to sympathize with Drew. Savannah, the usually always cheerful, easy to please and hilariously funny girl was being impossible to him. She had a problem with everything that night. Where he sat, what he said, what food he ordered, his drink, his attitude, EVERYTHING. So when we finally got settled into our booth at the back of the restaurant, I, being my confrontation-hating self, did my best to lighten her mood, which I'm usually pretty good at since I know her so well. But that night she would not be charmed. She stayed in low spirits the whole meal, until I finally just stopped trying.
When we had finally finished our food and were giving our leftovers over to the bottomless pit that is Drew, (Another plus of small, cheap shacks: one plate of food could feed a small army. They don't mess around with their portion size.) I asked Savannah point blank what the heck was going on with her. The answer I got made me angrier than I've been in a very long time.
Drew was graduating the next day from a high school in the county next to ours, and Savannah had of course been planning on attending this momentous occasion. She and Drew had been together forever in teenage dating terms, and naturally it was very important to her that she see him graduate. She told me that she had made her mother aware of the date that it was happening (June 4th) many months in advance so that she would be sure to not plan anything on that day, and she said her mother had agreed to let her go. Savannah then went on to say that this past week she had been eating breakfast when her mother walked in to the kitchen and promptly told her to remember that she had to take the SAT test on June 4th.
"But Mom," she had said, "that's the day Drew is graduating."
"Oh I know, but this will be better for you than going to that." her mother had replied offhandedly.
At this point in the story, I could barely keep my seat. I was so angered by her mother's spitefulness. She had knowingly made it so that Savannah couldn't go to Drew's graduation. One thing you all should know, is that Savannah's mother has wanted her to break up with Drew for a while now. None of us are sure why. The two of them have never gotten into trouble, they are always on time for curfew, and Drew is nothing but respectful towards both of her parents. Neither of them smoke, neither of them drink, and Drew is a good guy towards Savannah. He treats her right and respects her. The only thing I can come up with that might be a problem for her mother is the age difference between them. Savannah is sixteen, while Drew is eighteen, and I can understand her mother being uncomfortable with this, but why then didn't she say anything about that two years ago when they first started seeing each other? Why did she even let them date? Why would she let them stay together so long and then change her mind?
After hearing her story, Drew and I fully understood Savannah's bad temper. Both of us were beside ourselves with anger and frustration. But what could she do? She respected her mother too much to ever just plainly disobey her. She would have to miss Drew's graduation, a once in a lifetime thing, to take the SAT, which you can take once every month or so. The injustice of the whole thing still lights a fire in me even today.
What I'm still trying to figure out is, did she have a choice? Was her mother so much in the wrong that it wouldn't have been so horrible for Savannah to deliberately disobey her? As kids do we even have rights when it comes to our parent's decisions?
I arrived home that evening to an empty house (Both of my parents, my brother, and two of his little friends and their families were at the lake for the weekend, and I had been given the choice of staying home on my own for a few nights or accompanying them for three days of fun with three eleven-year-olds, one five year old, and a bunch of middle-aged beer-loving folks all crammed in a tiny lakeside cabin. Needless to say I politely declined that incredibly tempting invitation in favor of the companionship of my dog and the television.) and called my mother to tell her Savannah's story. She one hundred percent agreed with me, and got angry herself at poor Savannah's predicament. I told her that I was at the point where I wanted to tell Savannah to just go to the graduation anyway, regardless of her mom's rules, but that I knew she just couldn't. My mom was at a loss for words, torn between her role as a fellow mother and being completely on Savannah's side. The whole thing was just a mess.
Savannah, being the good daughter that she is, went that next day and took her test, and didn't even get the opportunity to see Drew that day at all. How in the world a mother could be so shamelessly cruel is beyond me.
Parents are wonderful, don't get me wrong. They brought us into this world and cared for and nurtured us from the beginnings of our existence, which makes it natural that they be the ones that are in charge. But is it possible that they sometimes abuse this power? And if they do, is there anything the children can really do about it? Kids have rights, yes, but do those rights extend to their parents as well? Do we really have a choice? I wish I knew.
"Children do not constitute anyone's property: they are neither the property of their parents nor even of society. They belong only to their own future freedom." - Mikhail Bakunin
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Knowing Your Place
As you all know, in high school there is a very strict pecking order. Freshmen are at the very bottom, being the youngest and newest to arrive on campus. The sophomores come next, being neither true upperclassmen nor disdainful underclassmen. The next level of students, juniors, are seen as true upperclassmen but still bow to the all-powerful seniors. Seniors get all the privileges, and call all the shots. They've earned that right though, being the oldest and most experienced at the school, and everyone else understands that. At least, most of us do.
The first practices of a new volleyball season started this past week. Spring practice is always so interesting, what with all of the new little freshies coming up from the middle school and the new varsity and j.v. teams being roughly formed. Upperclassmen are somewhat in charge of getting the new players up to speed on the new techniques and formations that come with playing volleyball in high school. This is what I and my fellow upperclassmen were doing last Thursday, when we figured out that this season was going to require a whole lot more senior authority if we were going to last through the new season without killing each other.
Practice had been going fairly decent so far, and everyone was just starting to get used to the new varsity coach. We have been issued a new one every year that I've played, not because we're a bad group of girls, but because some adults just don't know how to commit to coaching. I mean come on, if you're going to take the job, take it with the understanding of the amount of time you will be giving up to the team and the mindset that you're going to be in it for the long haul. It might not matter that much to you, but to us players it's our whole world, and we deserve your dedication when we so readily demonstrate ours. Maybe this guy will be different, but we'll see.
We had just started running through a drill that we like to call Queens. Its basically when six girls play three-on-three and whichever team wins the point stays on the court and the one that doesn't is replaced by three more different players. The object of the game is to just get as much game-like experience as possible and to help players work on communication skills and basic passing, setting, hitting, and digging techniques. It's fun to win though too, I'll admit.
At the time, another player who happens to be injured at this point in time and unable to practice, was in charge of tossing easy free balls to either side of the net to get each rally started. This girl, a friend of mine who we'll call Ann for privacy reasons,(and the fact that she'll be super-duper pissed-off at me if she ever reads this and sees that I used her real name), was succeeding in angering every single upperclassman in that gym.
Ann, instead of simply tossing balls over the net to help the newer players adjust and get better, was hitting hard down balls and tipping impossible tips to each new group of players.
"Ann, just throw easy balls to us. That's the way we've always played it and that's how we need to do it now. Not everyone knows how to dig balls like that yet." said one of this year's graduating seniors, Kathleen.
"What, you guys can't handle a little down ball?" retorted Ann sarcastically. Now let me just say, Ann is a rising junior, like myself, and Kathleen is one of our senior players from last year who has been coming to our practices to help us and the new recruits get acclimated. For her to be so outwardly rude to one of our old captains made mine and everyone else's mouths drop wide open. A bomb could have gone off in the parking lot next to the gym and none of us would have moved, so dumbfounded were we by such a display.
"WE can, but some of the new players can't, so just ease up." said Kathleen evenly. It's a good thing she has a level head, because had it been me that Ann had talked back to, I would have ripped her a new one. Next year will sure be interesting when we're BOTH seniors. Lord have mercy.
Ann then ignored Kathleen's remarks about 'easing up' and continued to drill balls at us and try to act like she was large-and-in-charge. Since she's neither of those things, you can probably imagine the tempers that were boiling up in that gym. (In case you're wondering, as I was too at the time, where our actual coaches were when all of this was going on; they were happily chatting away on the other side of the gym about different drills and players and whatnot. Way to be vigilant, new coach. You're showing excellent promise so far.)
The next actual verbal confrontation happened between Ann and Nicole, Nicole being a rising senior and current captain. Nicole was in one of the groups of three people getting ready to play against the others on the other side of the net at the time.
"Ann, just throw free balls. It's what we've always done during this drill. Some people can't handle that yet. It's only the second day of practice."
"I know YOU can though. What, are you scared of a little tip or down-ball?" said Ann. She then proceeded to hit the ball straight at Nicole who, making no effort to pass the ball whatsoever, calmly caught it, and then tossed it back to her.
"I know I can, but that's not the point. And no, I'm definitely not scared of you or your hits. Don't flatter yourself sweetie. This isn't your team. Your just a regular player like the rest of us." And with that said Nicole stood in the middle of the court and waited, refusing to play or move until Ann listened.
"Whatever," said Ann, who, being somewhat embarrassed at being out-argued, then proceeded to throw free balls for the rest of the drill, like she was originally designated to. At that point, I had been in the back of the line watching this all go down with all of the other upperclassmen players. I had been yelling retort after retort at Ann the whole time (in my head at least) and was grinning by the time Nicole finally succeeded in putting her back in her place. I did have enough decency to wipe off my little smirk by the time it was my turn to play, but just barely!
The moral of the story? (Yes there is a moral to average girl drama. It DOES have a higher meaning. But then again, so does a rock if you think about it hard enough. The earth's crust and all that. Who knew.) It's simply: RESPECT YOUR ELDERS, regardless of if your 'elder' is eighteen or eighty. They still have seniority over you and should be respected. You don't have to like it, most of us don't in fact, but its another one of those unwritten and universally understood rules that you just follow. Just because. So the next time you think of smart-mouthing your boss, think of Ann's stupidity and what she got for it, and refrain from telling your superior how you REALLY feel about their so-called 'intelligent' decisions. It will only come back to bite you in the end!
"When people honor each other, there is a trust established that leads to synergy, interdependence, and deep respect. Both parties make decisions and choices based on what is right, what is best, what is valued most highly." - Blaine Lee
The first practices of a new volleyball season started this past week. Spring practice is always so interesting, what with all of the new little freshies coming up from the middle school and the new varsity and j.v. teams being roughly formed. Upperclassmen are somewhat in charge of getting the new players up to speed on the new techniques and formations that come with playing volleyball in high school. This is what I and my fellow upperclassmen were doing last Thursday, when we figured out that this season was going to require a whole lot more senior authority if we were going to last through the new season without killing each other.
Practice had been going fairly decent so far, and everyone was just starting to get used to the new varsity coach. We have been issued a new one every year that I've played, not because we're a bad group of girls, but because some adults just don't know how to commit to coaching. I mean come on, if you're going to take the job, take it with the understanding of the amount of time you will be giving up to the team and the mindset that you're going to be in it for the long haul. It might not matter that much to you, but to us players it's our whole world, and we deserve your dedication when we so readily demonstrate ours. Maybe this guy will be different, but we'll see.
We had just started running through a drill that we like to call Queens. Its basically when six girls play three-on-three and whichever team wins the point stays on the court and the one that doesn't is replaced by three more different players. The object of the game is to just get as much game-like experience as possible and to help players work on communication skills and basic passing, setting, hitting, and digging techniques. It's fun to win though too, I'll admit.
At the time, another player who happens to be injured at this point in time and unable to practice, was in charge of tossing easy free balls to either side of the net to get each rally started. This girl, a friend of mine who we'll call Ann for privacy reasons,(and the fact that she'll be super-duper pissed-off at me if she ever reads this and sees that I used her real name), was succeeding in angering every single upperclassman in that gym.
Ann, instead of simply tossing balls over the net to help the newer players adjust and get better, was hitting hard down balls and tipping impossible tips to each new group of players.
"Ann, just throw easy balls to us. That's the way we've always played it and that's how we need to do it now. Not everyone knows how to dig balls like that yet." said one of this year's graduating seniors, Kathleen.
"What, you guys can't handle a little down ball?" retorted Ann sarcastically. Now let me just say, Ann is a rising junior, like myself, and Kathleen is one of our senior players from last year who has been coming to our practices to help us and the new recruits get acclimated. For her to be so outwardly rude to one of our old captains made mine and everyone else's mouths drop wide open. A bomb could have gone off in the parking lot next to the gym and none of us would have moved, so dumbfounded were we by such a display.
"WE can, but some of the new players can't, so just ease up." said Kathleen evenly. It's a good thing she has a level head, because had it been me that Ann had talked back to, I would have ripped her a new one. Next year will sure be interesting when we're BOTH seniors. Lord have mercy.
Ann then ignored Kathleen's remarks about 'easing up' and continued to drill balls at us and try to act like she was large-and-in-charge. Since she's neither of those things, you can probably imagine the tempers that were boiling up in that gym. (In case you're wondering, as I was too at the time, where our actual coaches were when all of this was going on; they were happily chatting away on the other side of the gym about different drills and players and whatnot. Way to be vigilant, new coach. You're showing excellent promise so far.)
The next actual verbal confrontation happened between Ann and Nicole, Nicole being a rising senior and current captain. Nicole was in one of the groups of three people getting ready to play against the others on the other side of the net at the time.
"Ann, just throw free balls. It's what we've always done during this drill. Some people can't handle that yet. It's only the second day of practice."
"I know YOU can though. What, are you scared of a little tip or down-ball?" said Ann. She then proceeded to hit the ball straight at Nicole who, making no effort to pass the ball whatsoever, calmly caught it, and then tossed it back to her.
"I know I can, but that's not the point. And no, I'm definitely not scared of you or your hits. Don't flatter yourself sweetie. This isn't your team. Your just a regular player like the rest of us." And with that said Nicole stood in the middle of the court and waited, refusing to play or move until Ann listened.
"Whatever," said Ann, who, being somewhat embarrassed at being out-argued, then proceeded to throw free balls for the rest of the drill, like she was originally designated to. At that point, I had been in the back of the line watching this all go down with all of the other upperclassmen players. I had been yelling retort after retort at Ann the whole time (in my head at least) and was grinning by the time Nicole finally succeeded in putting her back in her place. I did have enough decency to wipe off my little smirk by the time it was my turn to play, but just barely!
The moral of the story? (Yes there is a moral to average girl drama. It DOES have a higher meaning. But then again, so does a rock if you think about it hard enough. The earth's crust and all that. Who knew.) It's simply: RESPECT YOUR ELDERS, regardless of if your 'elder' is eighteen or eighty. They still have seniority over you and should be respected. You don't have to like it, most of us don't in fact, but its another one of those unwritten and universally understood rules that you just follow. Just because. So the next time you think of smart-mouthing your boss, think of Ann's stupidity and what she got for it, and refrain from telling your superior how you REALLY feel about their so-called 'intelligent' decisions. It will only come back to bite you in the end!
"When people honor each other, there is a trust established that leads to synergy, interdependence, and deep respect. Both parties make decisions and choices based on what is right, what is best, what is valued most highly." - Blaine Lee
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Things Aren't Always What They Seem
Have you ever noticed how each individual person has their own movie playing across their face?
Yes, I'm aware of how weird that sounds, just bare with me for a moment.
What I mean is, you can often see exactly what a person is thinking about or feeling by studying their face. It seems like you can see right into their heart when they let their guard down and think that no one is paying attention. It's amazing some of the things that are revealed in these vulnerable moments.
I happened to be in first period this morning, and having just made the trek from my car in the gym parking lot to the front entrance of the school, en-route to chorus class (I could never handle any of my other headache-inducing classes that early, so yes, this is my first period. I'm aware that I'm a slacker.) and I was feeling very Tuesday-ish. For those of you who don't know, Tuesday-ish is that almost-cranky-but-not-quite-there-yet feeling that has a whole lot to do with how your Monday treated you. And let's face it, Mondays don't exactly have a reputation for being kind to us. I think my Tuesday-ishness also had to do with the fact that it was hot and muggy outside this morning, which contributed to my bad hair day. So you get the picture. I wasn't cranky, but I was pretty close. My hair was a mess (I envy all of you men out there), and I was hot and groggy. Great way to start things off. All the same, I hustled down the crowded, gross-cafeteria-breakfast-food-perfumed hallway (breakfast pizza surprise this morning I think), and arrived at my destination a few minutes before the bell rang.
As I pushed open the heavy wooden door and made my way inside I was greeted with the faces of a few of my fellow classmates, each looking as sleepy and annoyed as I felt. Ah, the camaraderie in that room. Save for the VERY few cheery-eyed morning people dotted around the space, we all dragged our feet and books towards our seats and proceeded to look like sitting zombies. Being a little early to arrive, I settled in to watch and make small talk as everyone else filed into the room. It's hilarious to me to see all the different faces of people when they walk in. Some are calm, some are annoyed, some plain out angry, some happy, some run-down, some indifferent. You can tell exactly what kind of morning they've had so far. That's the thing with young people, we wear our emotions like a huge neon sign on our foreheads for all the world to see. It can get pretty entertaining.
One particular person stood out to me in particular though this morning. You could immediately tell that her mood was not a normal one. As she walked in the door, she stared straight ahead, her neck and eyes never wavering from some fixed point in the distance that no one else could see. Her little face was somewhat swollen and red, and bore no evidence that she wore any of her usual amount of makeup. Adorned in sweats and a T-shirt, she emanated depression. She spoke to no one, but simply put her things down, pulled some chairs together, and laid across them with her head in a friend's lap. The friend said nothing, and wore the same empty stare on her face. Neither person moved, spoke, or even tried to comfort the other. They simply sat in accepted silence, lost in their own thoughts, a world away from the regular sounds and sights of the classroom.
What was amazing was that not one person made any move towards them to try and pry out what their seemingly mutual troubles were. Another thing about young people, we're nosy. We gossip, and we love a good story. So you can imagine my surprise when not one person out of my sixty-something person class bothered those girls. It was like everyone was afraid of what might happen if we broke their stupor. There seemed to be some sort of unseen barrier, some unspoken rule that we knew was inhumane to break. So we left them there, alone with their trials and tribulations. It really struck a chord with me. And not because I was in a music class. Ha-ha.
You never know what someone is going through. For example, you may be at a local restaurant, and have a waitress or waiter who does everything wrong. They get your orders wrong, they fumble over your drinks, or they make it seem like it is a huge burden just to get you an extra napkin. Therefore, you yourself become irritated and short-tempered and leave them no tip and complain to the manager. But what you might not know, is that same waiter or waitress could be upset because they didn't have the money to pay their rent, and had just gotten their eviction notice that morning. They could have just lost a family member. They could have had a customer before you be incredibly rude and cold-hearted towards them. It could be any number of things. But you, immediately assuming that they are just a jerk, react with the same amount of harshness towards them, making their bad day worse and ruining your own day as well.
This cycle of anger can be prevented. All that's needed is a little bit of kindness. Because you truly have no way of knowing what that person is going through. We should be building each other up, not helping to tear each other down. The world is a harsh enough place without us fighting amongst ourselves. People need and deserve compassion. One small act of kindness could make someones bad day or situation lighten up. Even if it's just a moment that they forget their worries, it's enough. They realize that there are in fact decent people out there. And they in turn might be more willing to show other people more patience and kindness than they might have before. Seeing others be compassionate to people they don't even know can warm even the coldest heart. So when I saw a friend of the somber chair-laying girl come up to her at the end of class and silently pat her leg, give her an easy smile and walk away, I cheered up considerably, and was in good spirits for the rest of the day. Something so simple and effortless can mean so much to people.
One thing that my dad has always told my brother and I really jumps out at me as I think about this sort of thing. He always says I don't care if people seem like they don't deserve your patience. I'm sure you aren't so easy to be nice to when your in a bad mood either. Just kill them with kindness. It's sort of a paradox, but it makes sense.
So the next time you encounter someone who is anything but polite to you, take a moment to give them the benefit of the doubt. Treat everyone with politeness, even if they're mean to you - not because they're nice, but because you are.
"A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble." - Charles H. Spurgeon
Yes, I'm aware of how weird that sounds, just bare with me for a moment.
What I mean is, you can often see exactly what a person is thinking about or feeling by studying their face. It seems like you can see right into their heart when they let their guard down and think that no one is paying attention. It's amazing some of the things that are revealed in these vulnerable moments.
I happened to be in first period this morning, and having just made the trek from my car in the gym parking lot to the front entrance of the school, en-route to chorus class (I could never handle any of my other headache-inducing classes that early, so yes, this is my first period. I'm aware that I'm a slacker.) and I was feeling very Tuesday-ish. For those of you who don't know, Tuesday-ish is that almost-cranky-but-not-quite-there-yet feeling that has a whole lot to do with how your Monday treated you. And let's face it, Mondays don't exactly have a reputation for being kind to us. I think my Tuesday-ishness also had to do with the fact that it was hot and muggy outside this morning, which contributed to my bad hair day. So you get the picture. I wasn't cranky, but I was pretty close. My hair was a mess (I envy all of you men out there), and I was hot and groggy. Great way to start things off. All the same, I hustled down the crowded, gross-cafeteria-breakfast-food-perfumed hallway (breakfast pizza surprise this morning I think), and arrived at my destination a few minutes before the bell rang.
As I pushed open the heavy wooden door and made my way inside I was greeted with the faces of a few of my fellow classmates, each looking as sleepy and annoyed as I felt. Ah, the camaraderie in that room. Save for the VERY few cheery-eyed morning people dotted around the space, we all dragged our feet and books towards our seats and proceeded to look like sitting zombies. Being a little early to arrive, I settled in to watch and make small talk as everyone else filed into the room. It's hilarious to me to see all the different faces of people when they walk in. Some are calm, some are annoyed, some plain out angry, some happy, some run-down, some indifferent. You can tell exactly what kind of morning they've had so far. That's the thing with young people, we wear our emotions like a huge neon sign on our foreheads for all the world to see. It can get pretty entertaining.
One particular person stood out to me in particular though this morning. You could immediately tell that her mood was not a normal one. As she walked in the door, she stared straight ahead, her neck and eyes never wavering from some fixed point in the distance that no one else could see. Her little face was somewhat swollen and red, and bore no evidence that she wore any of her usual amount of makeup. Adorned in sweats and a T-shirt, she emanated depression. She spoke to no one, but simply put her things down, pulled some chairs together, and laid across them with her head in a friend's lap. The friend said nothing, and wore the same empty stare on her face. Neither person moved, spoke, or even tried to comfort the other. They simply sat in accepted silence, lost in their own thoughts, a world away from the regular sounds and sights of the classroom.
What was amazing was that not one person made any move towards them to try and pry out what their seemingly mutual troubles were. Another thing about young people, we're nosy. We gossip, and we love a good story. So you can imagine my surprise when not one person out of my sixty-something person class bothered those girls. It was like everyone was afraid of what might happen if we broke their stupor. There seemed to be some sort of unseen barrier, some unspoken rule that we knew was inhumane to break. So we left them there, alone with their trials and tribulations. It really struck a chord with me. And not because I was in a music class. Ha-ha.
You never know what someone is going through. For example, you may be at a local restaurant, and have a waitress or waiter who does everything wrong. They get your orders wrong, they fumble over your drinks, or they make it seem like it is a huge burden just to get you an extra napkin. Therefore, you yourself become irritated and short-tempered and leave them no tip and complain to the manager. But what you might not know, is that same waiter or waitress could be upset because they didn't have the money to pay their rent, and had just gotten their eviction notice that morning. They could have just lost a family member. They could have had a customer before you be incredibly rude and cold-hearted towards them. It could be any number of things. But you, immediately assuming that they are just a jerk, react with the same amount of harshness towards them, making their bad day worse and ruining your own day as well.
This cycle of anger can be prevented. All that's needed is a little bit of kindness. Because you truly have no way of knowing what that person is going through. We should be building each other up, not helping to tear each other down. The world is a harsh enough place without us fighting amongst ourselves. People need and deserve compassion. One small act of kindness could make someones bad day or situation lighten up. Even if it's just a moment that they forget their worries, it's enough. They realize that there are in fact decent people out there. And they in turn might be more willing to show other people more patience and kindness than they might have before. Seeing others be compassionate to people they don't even know can warm even the coldest heart. So when I saw a friend of the somber chair-laying girl come up to her at the end of class and silently pat her leg, give her an easy smile and walk away, I cheered up considerably, and was in good spirits for the rest of the day. Something so simple and effortless can mean so much to people.
One thing that my dad has always told my brother and I really jumps out at me as I think about this sort of thing. He always says I don't care if people seem like they don't deserve your patience. I'm sure you aren't so easy to be nice to when your in a bad mood either. Just kill them with kindness. It's sort of a paradox, but it makes sense.
So the next time you encounter someone who is anything but polite to you, take a moment to give them the benefit of the doubt. Treat everyone with politeness, even if they're mean to you - not because they're nice, but because you are.
"A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble." - Charles H. Spurgeon
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Expectations
There are so many things that can be said for my generation. It is one surrounded by an unfathomable amount of toleration, speculation, and low demands. Society has one common idea about those of us between the ages of thirteen and nineteen today: that there isn't a whole lot to be expected of us.
How long do you think the term teenager has been around? Honestly, just take a quick guess. You're probably thinking that it's just one of those words that has been around forever, like any other word. In reality, the word was never even documented until 1941 when Reader's Digest used it in one of its early issues. That means that the term has not even been around for seventy years yet. So what were individuals in this age group called before 1941? I'll tell you what. They were just people. They held jobs and important positions in everyday life. They contributed to their families, homes, towns, and cities by working hard and doing what they had to do to make it. They didn't just sit around and meet the lowest of expectations, because their society asked more from them. The problem today is, teens don't do more because no one asks or expects them to accomplish anything outside of making their bed every morning and perhaps pitching in to wash the dishes after dinner. The potential is there in every teen, but its been known to happen that when the difficulty of a demand is low, the skill level used to achieve the demand sinks as well.
I have seen and been apart of such lowering of skill many times. It's painful and embarrassing to witness and take part in, but it happens all the time. One obvious example of it can be found in sports. Those of you who have read a post or two of mine before know that I am an avid athlete, volleyball being my personal passion. I cannot tell you how many times my team and I have played a much lower level team than ourselves, and struggled to beat them. It's because we succeeded in sinking down to their level, and because not a whole lot was asked of us to beat that team. We didn't achieve much and didn't work hard or really do anything at all. This is what society today is doing to teenagers. It's put us in this stereotypical bubble that tells us over and over again that it knows that we aren't capable of as much and that it's alright. It tells us so many times that we start to believe it, and therefore sink to its lower levels of accomplishment.
Think back to the times of our country's beginnings, of frontier life and the exploration of a new world. People then were put into two categories: children and adults. Either you were a child, which meant that you weren't mentally or physically able to contribute to your family's needs; or you were an adult that pulled your own weight everyday for the better of your family and friends. Back then the classification of being a child or an adult had to do with only one thing: puberty. Once you went through puberty, you were an adult, and therefore expected to work just as hard as your mother and father. There was no such thing as the teenage years back then. Girls as young as fifteen got married and ran their own households and took care of children, while men of the same age held jobs and supported their own families single-handedly. So what's changed between then and now? It certainly isn't the quality of people. Teens still have all the potential and capability that those of old did. The difference now is, society isn't asking half as much of us as they used to. They are dumbing us down, asking very little. And when you ask just a little, you will only gain just a little.
Politicians and local officials all the time ask what is wrong with today's generation, and say that we as a group are in a downward spiral and are nothing like the generations of yesteryear. They have called us the laziest generation yet, one that is more ignorant and difficult to deal with than any other. Well wake up and smell the coffee you ludicrous, selfish, stubborn administrators! Grow up yourselves and be some sort of decent role models. YOU are the ones that are raising us and molding us into what we are becoming! Do you think we were just born this way? I think not. We are merely the product of what society has infiltrated into our minds and everyday lives. Nowadays most of the people in a position to make a difference such as senators, governors, school councils, and other government officials are not at all interested in what young people think or need. All they care about is getting the biggest paycheck possible, and if that means passing a few new bills, laws, or regulations here and there that may or may not be beneficial to the overall population, they won't hesitate to do it. From my experience with them, all they want is a quick fix for our everyday problems, one that will cost them as little money and effort as possible. Newsflash government officials, the easy way out is NOT what we need. What we need is for those of you out there who have power over our future to do what will be best for US in the long haul, not for you. You aren't the ones who will be ruling twenty years from now. It will be us. The younger generation. And if you don't shape and lead us the right way now, all of the generations of the future will suffer just as we are currently. It will be even worse for them. We need adults out there to push us to reach our full potential. It won't be easy, since we find ourselves in a bit of a pit right now; it will be very, very hard. But growing a new generation of intelligent, well-rounded, well-informed, hard-working people is a hard business.
It is said that when more is asked of someone, they will rise to the occasion. The same goes for young people. If someone would just step up and ask more of us, I'm sure the majority would rise to the occasion as well. We are capable of so much, and have all the potential to outsmart even the greatest teachers, scientists, and philosophers. People aren't just born geniuses. They have to be tended to and nurtured just like the most temperamental of flowers. So yes, this generation might be the laziest, but it isn't our fault. Society has pampered us and made us forget what hard work and determination is. All we need is a big shove in the right direction, and we can become the next group of world changers, and impact people across the nations.
All we need is a little hope, a little knowledge, and some very high expectations.
"High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation." - Charles F. Kettering
How long do you think the term teenager has been around? Honestly, just take a quick guess. You're probably thinking that it's just one of those words that has been around forever, like any other word. In reality, the word was never even documented until 1941 when Reader's Digest used it in one of its early issues. That means that the term has not even been around for seventy years yet. So what were individuals in this age group called before 1941? I'll tell you what. They were just people. They held jobs and important positions in everyday life. They contributed to their families, homes, towns, and cities by working hard and doing what they had to do to make it. They didn't just sit around and meet the lowest of expectations, because their society asked more from them. The problem today is, teens don't do more because no one asks or expects them to accomplish anything outside of making their bed every morning and perhaps pitching in to wash the dishes after dinner. The potential is there in every teen, but its been known to happen that when the difficulty of a demand is low, the skill level used to achieve the demand sinks as well.
I have seen and been apart of such lowering of skill many times. It's painful and embarrassing to witness and take part in, but it happens all the time. One obvious example of it can be found in sports. Those of you who have read a post or two of mine before know that I am an avid athlete, volleyball being my personal passion. I cannot tell you how many times my team and I have played a much lower level team than ourselves, and struggled to beat them. It's because we succeeded in sinking down to their level, and because not a whole lot was asked of us to beat that team. We didn't achieve much and didn't work hard or really do anything at all. This is what society today is doing to teenagers. It's put us in this stereotypical bubble that tells us over and over again that it knows that we aren't capable of as much and that it's alright. It tells us so many times that we start to believe it, and therefore sink to its lower levels of accomplishment.
Think back to the times of our country's beginnings, of frontier life and the exploration of a new world. People then were put into two categories: children and adults. Either you were a child, which meant that you weren't mentally or physically able to contribute to your family's needs; or you were an adult that pulled your own weight everyday for the better of your family and friends. Back then the classification of being a child or an adult had to do with only one thing: puberty. Once you went through puberty, you were an adult, and therefore expected to work just as hard as your mother and father. There was no such thing as the teenage years back then. Girls as young as fifteen got married and ran their own households and took care of children, while men of the same age held jobs and supported their own families single-handedly. So what's changed between then and now? It certainly isn't the quality of people. Teens still have all the potential and capability that those of old did. The difference now is, society isn't asking half as much of us as they used to. They are dumbing us down, asking very little. And when you ask just a little, you will only gain just a little.
Politicians and local officials all the time ask what is wrong with today's generation, and say that we as a group are in a downward spiral and are nothing like the generations of yesteryear. They have called us the laziest generation yet, one that is more ignorant and difficult to deal with than any other. Well wake up and smell the coffee you ludicrous, selfish, stubborn administrators! Grow up yourselves and be some sort of decent role models. YOU are the ones that are raising us and molding us into what we are becoming! Do you think we were just born this way? I think not. We are merely the product of what society has infiltrated into our minds and everyday lives. Nowadays most of the people in a position to make a difference such as senators, governors, school councils, and other government officials are not at all interested in what young people think or need. All they care about is getting the biggest paycheck possible, and if that means passing a few new bills, laws, or regulations here and there that may or may not be beneficial to the overall population, they won't hesitate to do it. From my experience with them, all they want is a quick fix for our everyday problems, one that will cost them as little money and effort as possible. Newsflash government officials, the easy way out is NOT what we need. What we need is for those of you out there who have power over our future to do what will be best for US in the long haul, not for you. You aren't the ones who will be ruling twenty years from now. It will be us. The younger generation. And if you don't shape and lead us the right way now, all of the generations of the future will suffer just as we are currently. It will be even worse for them. We need adults out there to push us to reach our full potential. It won't be easy, since we find ourselves in a bit of a pit right now; it will be very, very hard. But growing a new generation of intelligent, well-rounded, well-informed, hard-working people is a hard business.
It is said that when more is asked of someone, they will rise to the occasion. The same goes for young people. If someone would just step up and ask more of us, I'm sure the majority would rise to the occasion as well. We are capable of so much, and have all the potential to outsmart even the greatest teachers, scientists, and philosophers. People aren't just born geniuses. They have to be tended to and nurtured just like the most temperamental of flowers. So yes, this generation might be the laziest, but it isn't our fault. Society has pampered us and made us forget what hard work and determination is. All we need is a big shove in the right direction, and we can become the next group of world changers, and impact people across the nations.
All we need is a little hope, a little knowledge, and some very high expectations.
"High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation." - Charles F. Kettering
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
A Crisis
For the past three or so hours I had been heavily occupied with washing my lovely little green truck. It is certain that there is no car in the world loved more. My arms were covered from elbow to fingertip with brake dust, grime, and soap, but I had that happy aura about me that can only be brought about by seeing the beautiful product of your own manual labor. The sky was as blue as the Caribbean and the air as pleasant on the skin as silken bedsheets. Add in a quiet breeze every now and again and some dazzling sunshine, and you have the equivalent of what I was experiencing as I gazed at my now spotless car. Who knew that on this utopia of a day, soon, I'd have to be a a horrible jerk.
After admiring such a lovely days work, I began retrieving my many materials and locking the garage up for the day. Plunk-plunk! Plunk-plunk! I could have sworn I had turned that annoying thing off when I started, but it seems that one must always stay in the loop of communication, so I guess my teenage mind had thought better of it. I finished cleaning up and clicked and poked all the necessary buttons to open up a text message from a recently acquired acquaintance of mine, named George. My mind immediately went from a state of bliss to a state of annoyance and caution.
George is not a bad person. Let me get that straight first of all. He is just one of those guys that you'd rather just be able to say hi to in passing, and leave it at that. He's a bit shorter than I, and I'm about 5'7", so he's small compared to most guys I know. He has jet black curly hair just long enough to require combing, and thick eyebrows framing small, dark eyes. Although huskily built, his is not quite overweight. Talking quickly is off limits, because of his heavy Greek accent. His whole family is from Greece, which is where he spends every summer. For the most part he is a sweetheart, but has a sailor's mouth and a sixteen-year-old boy's gross mind. Not surprising, and for the most part expected. Amazing what one can find out about a person in a few short conversations. You'd think that I'd known him for years.
I opened the text.
Hey buddy. I find that term a tad bit condescending coming from him, so I was immediately annoyed. But nevertheless, I texted back. What's up. This was my first mistake. When the very first two words someone says annoys me, it usually isn't a smart idea to continue to strike up a conversation with them. Silly me.
For the next ten to fifteen minutes we made small talk about a number of different things, each insignificant and pointless, but each reminding me of why I do actually enjoy talking to George. He is easily amused, and can make even the most boring of ideas seem hilarious. My initial annoyance had dissipated, and my guard had been let down. I remembered that just because he's a guy, doesn't mean we can't just be friends. But then of course, he dropped the bomb on me.
We still going out tomorrow for lunch?
Crap. Crap crap crap crap crap. I remembered suddenly a conversation between us a week or so ago where he had initially asked me this question. I also remembered sullenly agreeing because 1) he had been asking me every time we talked for the past couple of weeks, 2) I always said no, and 3) I was tired of being the mean girl who never gave the guy a chance. I remembered thinking: Really, how bad could it be? It's only lunch. Of course, my air-headed self trying to do what I thought at the time was the right thing. Now that the time had actually come, I quickly realized that this was by no means a good idea. How could I lead him on that way? In no way was it fair to him for me to feign interest, so sadly, I decided that I had no choice but to be a jerk. Naturally, now I realize that there were many other options to get myself out of this date, but at the time I was hurridly trying to come up with some credible excuse as to why I just couldn't join him that day.
Hold on let me check, I typed. I mashed the Send button and racked my brain for something that I might have had to get done tomorrow instead, because lying is no option for me. I knew the guilt I'd feel later would be ten times as bad as the actual date would have been. Thinking of nothing truthful, and with none of my friends having their telephones on, I ran to the back yard where my very last resort was happily chatting away with my father, unaware of my teenage crisis.
"Hey, Mom?"
"What have you gotten yourself into this time?" she replied laughing, immediately recognizing my flighty tone of voice.
"What's the nicest way to say no when someone asks you to do something?" I asked, dodging her question and hoping that for once she would simply just answer, and not bombard me with the usually inevitable "Why do you ask?" or "Who's doing what?" follow up questions. I'm finding out that there is no such thing as a simple answer when it comes to mothers. She proceded to solidify this lesson.
"Who's asked you to do what?" she asked with a suspicious look on her face. Seeing no way around it, I relented and relayed to her the whole story of my idiotic misfortune. She listened with a curious look on her face and when I was done, she chuckled to herself. I stood there getting more annoyed by the minute, and was having a hard time finding the humor in the situation and remembering why I make her my last resort.
"Oh Kars, you owe me big time after this," she said with a grin. I stared at her stupidly. "We CAN be busy tomorrow if you'd like. I was thinking yesterday that we might take your grandparents to lunch tomorrow out of town while the lady cleans their house if you didn't have any plans made already. Now I've made my mind up and say that you have no choice but to come."
I let go of the breath that I hadn't realized I was holding and blew out a sigh of relief. The miracles this woman comes up with, I will never understand.
"But let me just say something else really quick, even though I totally bailed you out on that one." she said. I knew it was too good to be true. "You need to learn that there's some things that you're just going to have to do for the benefit of other people. Even if it does turn out bad. You might be breaking this George's heart by running out on him like this. In the future, I'm not going to save you. Just make sure you know that." Only a mother could incorporate a life lesson into this little ordeal and make me feel like a jerk for taking the easy way out at the same time.
After hurridly walking up to the house to escape my parent's growing amusement at my discomfort, I plopped myself down on the living room couch and texted poor George my apologies and reasoning behind my being unavailable to accompany him.
His response: Oh...okay. I was really looking forward to it. That's disappointing.
Just rip my heart to shreds why don't you.
Life lesson #67: Never agree to something you do not fully believe in doing if you are somewhat of a coward like me. It will not end well for anyone involved, and you will end up owing your mother big time, which is never a good thing when you are sixteen and still living off of her income.
Three cheers for young ignorance! (:
After admiring such a lovely days work, I began retrieving my many materials and locking the garage up for the day. Plunk-plunk! Plunk-plunk! I could have sworn I had turned that annoying thing off when I started, but it seems that one must always stay in the loop of communication, so I guess my teenage mind had thought better of it. I finished cleaning up and clicked and poked all the necessary buttons to open up a text message from a recently acquired acquaintance of mine, named George. My mind immediately went from a state of bliss to a state of annoyance and caution.
George is not a bad person. Let me get that straight first of all. He is just one of those guys that you'd rather just be able to say hi to in passing, and leave it at that. He's a bit shorter than I, and I'm about 5'7", so he's small compared to most guys I know. He has jet black curly hair just long enough to require combing, and thick eyebrows framing small, dark eyes. Although huskily built, his is not quite overweight. Talking quickly is off limits, because of his heavy Greek accent. His whole family is from Greece, which is where he spends every summer. For the most part he is a sweetheart, but has a sailor's mouth and a sixteen-year-old boy's gross mind. Not surprising, and for the most part expected. Amazing what one can find out about a person in a few short conversations. You'd think that I'd known him for years.
I opened the text.
Hey buddy. I find that term a tad bit condescending coming from him, so I was immediately annoyed. But nevertheless, I texted back. What's up. This was my first mistake. When the very first two words someone says annoys me, it usually isn't a smart idea to continue to strike up a conversation with them. Silly me.
For the next ten to fifteen minutes we made small talk about a number of different things, each insignificant and pointless, but each reminding me of why I do actually enjoy talking to George. He is easily amused, and can make even the most boring of ideas seem hilarious. My initial annoyance had dissipated, and my guard had been let down. I remembered that just because he's a guy, doesn't mean we can't just be friends. But then of course, he dropped the bomb on me.
We still going out tomorrow for lunch?
Crap. Crap crap crap crap crap. I remembered suddenly a conversation between us a week or so ago where he had initially asked me this question. I also remembered sullenly agreeing because 1) he had been asking me every time we talked for the past couple of weeks, 2) I always said no, and 3) I was tired of being the mean girl who never gave the guy a chance. I remembered thinking: Really, how bad could it be? It's only lunch. Of course, my air-headed self trying to do what I thought at the time was the right thing. Now that the time had actually come, I quickly realized that this was by no means a good idea. How could I lead him on that way? In no way was it fair to him for me to feign interest, so sadly, I decided that I had no choice but to be a jerk. Naturally, now I realize that there were many other options to get myself out of this date, but at the time I was hurridly trying to come up with some credible excuse as to why I just couldn't join him that day.
Hold on let me check, I typed. I mashed the Send button and racked my brain for something that I might have had to get done tomorrow instead, because lying is no option for me. I knew the guilt I'd feel later would be ten times as bad as the actual date would have been. Thinking of nothing truthful, and with none of my friends having their telephones on, I ran to the back yard where my very last resort was happily chatting away with my father, unaware of my teenage crisis.
"Hey, Mom?"
"What have you gotten yourself into this time?" she replied laughing, immediately recognizing my flighty tone of voice.
"What's the nicest way to say no when someone asks you to do something?" I asked, dodging her question and hoping that for once she would simply just answer, and not bombard me with the usually inevitable "Why do you ask?" or "Who's doing what?" follow up questions. I'm finding out that there is no such thing as a simple answer when it comes to mothers. She proceded to solidify this lesson.
"Who's asked you to do what?" she asked with a suspicious look on her face. Seeing no way around it, I relented and relayed to her the whole story of my idiotic misfortune. She listened with a curious look on her face and when I was done, she chuckled to herself. I stood there getting more annoyed by the minute, and was having a hard time finding the humor in the situation and remembering why I make her my last resort.
"Oh Kars, you owe me big time after this," she said with a grin. I stared at her stupidly. "We CAN be busy tomorrow if you'd like. I was thinking yesterday that we might take your grandparents to lunch tomorrow out of town while the lady cleans their house if you didn't have any plans made already. Now I've made my mind up and say that you have no choice but to come."
I let go of the breath that I hadn't realized I was holding and blew out a sigh of relief. The miracles this woman comes up with, I will never understand.
"But let me just say something else really quick, even though I totally bailed you out on that one." she said. I knew it was too good to be true. "You need to learn that there's some things that you're just going to have to do for the benefit of other people. Even if it does turn out bad. You might be breaking this George's heart by running out on him like this. In the future, I'm not going to save you. Just make sure you know that." Only a mother could incorporate a life lesson into this little ordeal and make me feel like a jerk for taking the easy way out at the same time.
After hurridly walking up to the house to escape my parent's growing amusement at my discomfort, I plopped myself down on the living room couch and texted poor George my apologies and reasoning behind my being unavailable to accompany him.
His response: Oh...okay. I was really looking forward to it. That's disappointing.
Just rip my heart to shreds why don't you.
Life lesson #67: Never agree to something you do not fully believe in doing if you are somewhat of a coward like me. It will not end well for anyone involved, and you will end up owing your mother big time, which is never a good thing when you are sixteen and still living off of her income.
Three cheers for young ignorance! (:
Saturday, April 16, 2011
"Don't worry, 'bout a thing, 'cause every little thing, is gonna be alright."
People often say that you find out what you're really made of when things get a little rough around the edges. Well, after this week, I'm thinking I'm made out of some sort of mixture between that really amazing brand of Tupperware plastic that can survive even the most horrific leftovers, and that "New and Improved" play dough they like to call silly putty.
I guess I'm quite the oxymoron. But hey, don't all the men out there like to say us girls are quote, 'complex'? That's a better word for it. Maybe they're right. I guess a mixture of complexity, stupidity, hilarity, and integrity are what make the world what is is today anyway. A little snippet of craziness every now and then never hurt anyone.
Ever had one of those weeks where its seems like every frustrating but altogether necessary task gets thrown at you on Monday and has to be done (at the latest) by Friday? This was one of those weeks for this kid! Thank goodness it was all school related, because I know if I hadn't been able to come home to a sane household (not that my household is ever really sane), I wouldn't have made it through these past five days without a multitude of regrets and misgivings.
I started things off on Monday rejuvenated and positive. The weekend had been warm and enjoyable and the chorus of "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley had been my personal theme song for the past two glorious spring days. By the end of the day my song had changed to something that sounded a little like "I Hope Tomorrow is Like Today" by Guster. Slow, melancholy, depressed. The reason for this dramatic change of mood was the seemingly impossible amount of work that I, being the overachiever who just had to take some upper-level classes, had to complete. My do-to list as of the end of the school day on Monday looked a little something like this:
1) On Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, take and pass the huge three-part state-wide HSAP test that determines if I get my high school diploma or not and that made me miss my first two classes of the day for three days straight.
2) Accurately complete a five-day lab experiment in chemistry that our teacher was counting as a test grade and that would require me to write numerous two page lab reports throughout the week. Also write a minimum four page introduction for a totally separate formal lab report for that same chemistry teacher. All due on Friday.
3) Try and keep up with and learn what was being taught in my Trig class (that I was missing everyday because of HSAP) and take a test on all of it on Friday.
Holy. Crap. In my mind this was one of the biggest and most sinister-looking mountains I'd ever undertaken as a high school student. Now I know that most people out there reading this are probably thinking "Well gosh that doesn't seem like a lot at all. Just wait until you're an adult kid, then you'll see what work is." Yes, you are most definitely correct, I really don't know what a tough week of work is yet. But I'm not trying to get sympathy. I'm just complaining and explaining. It's what we teenagers do.
I will say though, that I learned a little more about myself because of this trying week. I learned that I'm getting pretty good at the whole 'staying positive' thing. This week gave a new meaning to the saying "Just take it one day at a time."
A year ago this sort of thing would have caused me to be completely stressed out all week long, to be a jerk to my family because of my hectic schedule, and to have an altogether bad outlook on myself and what I was capable of achieving. Basically I would have been very immature and handled it all with very little poise or grace.
People tend to be very good at overwhelming themselves. We think and stress and moan and end up making a little challenge look like climbing Mt. Everest when in reality all we need to do is break up the work and take it one day at a time. Everything in life is much more manageable when taken in small quantities. So this week, that's exactly what I did. I put in the hours doing homework, typed endlessly on my computer, and stayed for hours after school to keep myself caught up, all the while making sure I looked decent and healthy each day and not like a sleep-deprived bum. I felt like one of those crazy soccer moms who somehow manage to successfully juggle their kids, husbands, and jobs everyday. It was slightly liberating.
By Friday, I felt good about every paper I turned in or test that I took. The week ended up being one of my proudest and most successful yet. Now as I sit outside on my back porch on this beautiful Saturday, carefree and content with a week of spring break just getting underway, I find myself being thankful for the test the past couple of days brought. It's true that God isn't going to throw anything at me that I can't handle. It also made me realize how grateful I should be of a supportive family, and of the fact that I even have the opportunity to go to school and get an education at all. I think we should all just step back and look at everything we've been blessed with, be it opportunities or materials. So next time you're feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, remember that there are tons of people out there who would kill to be in your shoes and have what you have. Don't spend all of your time worrying, because even though things may be tough right now, it won't be that way forever. If there weren't any bad days, we would never be able to fully appreciate the good ones. Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them.
I guess I'm quite the oxymoron. But hey, don't all the men out there like to say us girls are quote, 'complex'? That's a better word for it. Maybe they're right. I guess a mixture of complexity, stupidity, hilarity, and integrity are what make the world what is is today anyway. A little snippet of craziness every now and then never hurt anyone.
Ever had one of those weeks where its seems like every frustrating but altogether necessary task gets thrown at you on Monday and has to be done (at the latest) by Friday? This was one of those weeks for this kid! Thank goodness it was all school related, because I know if I hadn't been able to come home to a sane household (not that my household is ever really sane), I wouldn't have made it through these past five days without a multitude of regrets and misgivings.
I started things off on Monday rejuvenated and positive. The weekend had been warm and enjoyable and the chorus of "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley had been my personal theme song for the past two glorious spring days. By the end of the day my song had changed to something that sounded a little like "I Hope Tomorrow is Like Today" by Guster. Slow, melancholy, depressed. The reason for this dramatic change of mood was the seemingly impossible amount of work that I, being the overachiever who just had to take some upper-level classes, had to complete. My do-to list as of the end of the school day on Monday looked a little something like this:
1) On Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, take and pass the huge three-part state-wide HSAP test that determines if I get my high school diploma or not and that made me miss my first two classes of the day for three days straight.
2) Accurately complete a five-day lab experiment in chemistry that our teacher was counting as a test grade and that would require me to write numerous two page lab reports throughout the week. Also write a minimum four page introduction for a totally separate formal lab report for that same chemistry teacher. All due on Friday.
3) Try and keep up with and learn what was being taught in my Trig class (that I was missing everyday because of HSAP) and take a test on all of it on Friday.
Holy. Crap. In my mind this was one of the biggest and most sinister-looking mountains I'd ever undertaken as a high school student. Now I know that most people out there reading this are probably thinking "Well gosh that doesn't seem like a lot at all. Just wait until you're an adult kid, then you'll see what work is." Yes, you are most definitely correct, I really don't know what a tough week of work is yet. But I'm not trying to get sympathy. I'm just complaining and explaining. It's what we teenagers do.
I will say though, that I learned a little more about myself because of this trying week. I learned that I'm getting pretty good at the whole 'staying positive' thing. This week gave a new meaning to the saying "Just take it one day at a time."
A year ago this sort of thing would have caused me to be completely stressed out all week long, to be a jerk to my family because of my hectic schedule, and to have an altogether bad outlook on myself and what I was capable of achieving. Basically I would have been very immature and handled it all with very little poise or grace.
People tend to be very good at overwhelming themselves. We think and stress and moan and end up making a little challenge look like climbing Mt. Everest when in reality all we need to do is break up the work and take it one day at a time. Everything in life is much more manageable when taken in small quantities. So this week, that's exactly what I did. I put in the hours doing homework, typed endlessly on my computer, and stayed for hours after school to keep myself caught up, all the while making sure I looked decent and healthy each day and not like a sleep-deprived bum. I felt like one of those crazy soccer moms who somehow manage to successfully juggle their kids, husbands, and jobs everyday. It was slightly liberating.
By Friday, I felt good about every paper I turned in or test that I took. The week ended up being one of my proudest and most successful yet. Now as I sit outside on my back porch on this beautiful Saturday, carefree and content with a week of spring break just getting underway, I find myself being thankful for the test the past couple of days brought. It's true that God isn't going to throw anything at me that I can't handle. It also made me realize how grateful I should be of a supportive family, and of the fact that I even have the opportunity to go to school and get an education at all. I think we should all just step back and look at everything we've been blessed with, be it opportunities or materials. So next time you're feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, remember that there are tons of people out there who would kill to be in your shoes and have what you have. Don't spend all of your time worrying, because even though things may be tough right now, it won't be that way forever. If there weren't any bad days, we would never be able to fully appreciate the good ones. Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
"Work hard, don't try hard."
What is a team?
According to the dictionary it is "a number of persons associated in some joint action". In my opinion this definition, quite frankly, sucks. It's one of the worst blanket statements I have ever heard. A team is not something that can be defined in a few simple words. It is a complex, difficult, and wonderful thing that can change, mold, and bring people into something so powerful, even the realities of our everyday world can't break it. The word "team" cannot be summarized, it can only be experienced.
This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending the Palmetto Regional Volleyball Championships in Charlotte, North Carolina with my own team. We, along with hundreds of other teams from Georgia, North and South Carolina, played two, three, or four matches a day for three days, trying to do what all teams want to do: win. My team and I had been very successful in this area all season long, and I, along with my other eight teammates, thought we were ready for the hardships that the biggest and most important tournament of the year was sure to throw at us. Man, were we ever wrong.
Now don't get me wrong, we were very much physically ready. Our team is one of the best when it comes to skill and talent in our age division. What caught us all off guard was the very big mental part of the game. Ever heard that saying: sports are ten percent physical, ninety percent mental? Well let me tell you guys, truer words were never spoken. Everyone thinks that the skill part of the game is the hardest to accomplish and perfect. I can assure you all that this is most definitely not the case. Mental toughness is one of the most difficult traits to aquire and obtain. In my opinion it is the single most important and difficult thing to learn as an athlete.
The first day of the tournament was this past Friday. We started our first of two matches that evening against the number one team in our region and age group. Let me just say, we found out that they were in that number one spot for a very good reason! We started the match not expecting too much, and therefore played extremely well. We actually kept up with them and were even beating them at one time. This of course resulted in all of us getting overexcited and thinking that we really were capable of beating them. Don't get me wrong, we were very much capable of winning against them if we played to our full potential, but when you actually do something you didn't think you could, you start to get nervous and start trying way too hard to keep doing it. That's exactly what we did. Offense and defense crumbled, tempers flew and nerves frayed. We lost faith in playing together and started playing individually, and you will never succeed in volleyball individually. The worst part about it though was that none of us tried to pick our other teammates up when they got frusterated. No one gave anyone a pat on the back or said a few encouraging words to someone who was down, and that's what a team is, a support system. And when you fail at that, you are no longer a team. You are only a group of people doing the same thing in close proximity to each other. And in volleyball and even sometimes in life, that never leads to success.
Needless to say we lost that match with flying colors. We then went into a the second match against a much easier opponent and proceded to lose that as well. When we left the convention center later that night, we were all at our wits end with each other and our coaches. Nothing this bad had ever happened to us before, and we had no idea how to deal with it, let alone fix it.
The next day we showed up somewhat better prepared for a fight. We lost the first game but procede to win the next three. The difference between the first three games and the next three games was all in our heads. In the first three, we all lost individual battles. In the next three, we won a single battle together. That's what a team is supposed to do: fight together, hurt together, smile together, laugh together, work, win, and lose together. There is no individuality in this sport.
We ended up pulling it together enough to win the bronze metal for our age group. I'll say that I'm definitely happy that we won anything at all, but I know that this team could have done so much more. This group of girls that I was blessed enough to get to play with are some of the most talented young women I have ever met. They inspired me every game and every practice to be better, work harder, and rise to the occasion. I've never wanted so bad to make my teammates proud of me, and to help them be as great as they were meant to be. These girls have helped me become a better person, and to learn to take responsibility for my actions and to always think of others before I ever think of myself. I'm never happier than when I've made one of my teammates happy in a tough situation. Let me say that I am also so thankful for the coaching we all received at this tournament. We all needed to be pushed to overcome our young, selfish, and yes I'll admit it, immature teenage minds. And we ended up not just getting pushed in that direction, but shoved with such intensity and passion that we couldn't help but feed off of it and improve.
Team to me is not a word. If it was just a word it would be black and white, plain, ordinary, one meaning, simple. In my mind, team is exact opposite of all that. It is toughness (both mental and physical), devotion, eagerness, selflessness, and a willingness to play and win not only for your own personal satisfaction but also for the building up of your teammates as people and athletes. When it all boils down, we're all playing a game, and a game isn't that serious. But the formation of strong young women who come to understand that anything is possible if you give yourself over to faith in yourself and in those around you is something far more serious and important. All of us, even our coaches, took a step closer to that level of greatness after this weekend. We'll fight our whole lives to get there, but if we take one step at a time, and take them all together, we'll get there. No matter if those steps take us down separate paths, we will always have each others backs. That is what my team is to me. They are my strength, my everlasting source of joy on and off the court, the people who bring the best out in me and make me a better person everyday and make me feel secure and invincible and loved. But most importantly, they are and always will be, my family.
"Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results."
According to the dictionary it is "a number of persons associated in some joint action". In my opinion this definition, quite frankly, sucks. It's one of the worst blanket statements I have ever heard. A team is not something that can be defined in a few simple words. It is a complex, difficult, and wonderful thing that can change, mold, and bring people into something so powerful, even the realities of our everyday world can't break it. The word "team" cannot be summarized, it can only be experienced.
This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending the Palmetto Regional Volleyball Championships in Charlotte, North Carolina with my own team. We, along with hundreds of other teams from Georgia, North and South Carolina, played two, three, or four matches a day for three days, trying to do what all teams want to do: win. My team and I had been very successful in this area all season long, and I, along with my other eight teammates, thought we were ready for the hardships that the biggest and most important tournament of the year was sure to throw at us. Man, were we ever wrong.
Now don't get me wrong, we were very much physically ready. Our team is one of the best when it comes to skill and talent in our age division. What caught us all off guard was the very big mental part of the game. Ever heard that saying: sports are ten percent physical, ninety percent mental? Well let me tell you guys, truer words were never spoken. Everyone thinks that the skill part of the game is the hardest to accomplish and perfect. I can assure you all that this is most definitely not the case. Mental toughness is one of the most difficult traits to aquire and obtain. In my opinion it is the single most important and difficult thing to learn as an athlete.
The first day of the tournament was this past Friday. We started our first of two matches that evening against the number one team in our region and age group. Let me just say, we found out that they were in that number one spot for a very good reason! We started the match not expecting too much, and therefore played extremely well. We actually kept up with them and were even beating them at one time. This of course resulted in all of us getting overexcited and thinking that we really were capable of beating them. Don't get me wrong, we were very much capable of winning against them if we played to our full potential, but when you actually do something you didn't think you could, you start to get nervous and start trying way too hard to keep doing it. That's exactly what we did. Offense and defense crumbled, tempers flew and nerves frayed. We lost faith in playing together and started playing individually, and you will never succeed in volleyball individually. The worst part about it though was that none of us tried to pick our other teammates up when they got frusterated. No one gave anyone a pat on the back or said a few encouraging words to someone who was down, and that's what a team is, a support system. And when you fail at that, you are no longer a team. You are only a group of people doing the same thing in close proximity to each other. And in volleyball and even sometimes in life, that never leads to success.
Needless to say we lost that match with flying colors. We then went into a the second match against a much easier opponent and proceded to lose that as well. When we left the convention center later that night, we were all at our wits end with each other and our coaches. Nothing this bad had ever happened to us before, and we had no idea how to deal with it, let alone fix it.
The next day we showed up somewhat better prepared for a fight. We lost the first game but procede to win the next three. The difference between the first three games and the next three games was all in our heads. In the first three, we all lost individual battles. In the next three, we won a single battle together. That's what a team is supposed to do: fight together, hurt together, smile together, laugh together, work, win, and lose together. There is no individuality in this sport.
We ended up pulling it together enough to win the bronze metal for our age group. I'll say that I'm definitely happy that we won anything at all, but I know that this team could have done so much more. This group of girls that I was blessed enough to get to play with are some of the most talented young women I have ever met. They inspired me every game and every practice to be better, work harder, and rise to the occasion. I've never wanted so bad to make my teammates proud of me, and to help them be as great as they were meant to be. These girls have helped me become a better person, and to learn to take responsibility for my actions and to always think of others before I ever think of myself. I'm never happier than when I've made one of my teammates happy in a tough situation. Let me say that I am also so thankful for the coaching we all received at this tournament. We all needed to be pushed to overcome our young, selfish, and yes I'll admit it, immature teenage minds. And we ended up not just getting pushed in that direction, but shoved with such intensity and passion that we couldn't help but feed off of it and improve.
Team to me is not a word. If it was just a word it would be black and white, plain, ordinary, one meaning, simple. In my mind, team is exact opposite of all that. It is toughness (both mental and physical), devotion, eagerness, selflessness, and a willingness to play and win not only for your own personal satisfaction but also for the building up of your teammates as people and athletes. When it all boils down, we're all playing a game, and a game isn't that serious. But the formation of strong young women who come to understand that anything is possible if you give yourself over to faith in yourself and in those around you is something far more serious and important. All of us, even our coaches, took a step closer to that level of greatness after this weekend. We'll fight our whole lives to get there, but if we take one step at a time, and take them all together, we'll get there. No matter if those steps take us down separate paths, we will always have each others backs. That is what my team is to me. They are my strength, my everlasting source of joy on and off the court, the people who bring the best out in me and make me a better person everyday and make me feel secure and invincible and loved. But most importantly, they are and always will be, my family.
"Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results."
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Learning Opportunities
What a long and busy two weeks its been! Today is the first day I've stopped going since the 24th of January! With the new school semester getting under way and club volleyball revving up, there hasn't been much time to spare.
I won't catch you guys up on anything that happened during that last week of January, because honestly, I don't remember. How sad is that? But I'm sure you've all felt my pain. When you're busy, you are only able to remember extremely important occurrences. Sometimes I get so caught up I don't even remember those. But thankfully, today on this slow super bowl Sunday I have the chance to collect myself before the start of another busy week.
The past two days have been the most eventful and memorable in my two week blogging lapse. On Friday, I attended one of the best parties of the new year so far. It was one of those that had the complete package: the kick butt d.j., the strobe lights that are so bright and confusing you have trouble recognizing people, the big dance floor, and of course, tons of 15-18 year olds who want nothing more than to dance and have a good time. Typical high school party. But of course there are always the 10 or so people who always show up to these things completely zonked out at around 10 o'clock. I cannot stand these people. They have a habit of ruining a perfectly harmless and fun night with their dumb choices. But for some reason we always put up with them.
I'm sure all of you out there have been to at least one of these parties in your life. And if you haven't then you more than likely will in the future. If you have then you know that if you're a girl, you dance with whoever is around you, regardless of if you happen to know them or not. This was what I was doing about halfway into my stay at this interesting party. And I will say that I was having a blast, until this squirrely, short, string bean of a guy came up and started dancing with me. He was one of those where it was immediately obvious that he was looking for someone easy if you know what I mean. SO not my scene, and definitely not someone a girl like me was going to put up with. We'll just say that that nasty little dude got the most polite and sincere shove in the chest that he will ever get in his life. I think I was pretty merciful, and I learned a little more about what my personal morals are and the courage it takes to keep them. All of you ladies out there would have been proud. But anyway, there's a little dose of high school drama for you older people.
Yesterday was one of the most fun days I've had in a while. We had our first club volleyball tournament of the season. For those of you who don't know, club volleyball is like a traveling team thing that I and many other players do to improve and keep playing during the off season. Volleyball is my love and my passion, my everlasting joy and my constant obsession. It's the one thing that I do solely for me; my little bit of individual heavenly pleasure. Yesterday my team along with our two coaches traveled down to Columbia for our first tournament of the year. Never have I laughed so much as with this group of girls and these coaches. We laughed even when we were losing, which I have come to understand is an extremely important attitude to have. No matter how tough things get, if you keep your energy up and your spirits light, you can acheive just about anything. My team's experience is proof of this. Even after losing our very first game of the tournament that went from 8 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. and being so tired we could barely see straight, we succeeded in winning first place in the silver division. Not a bad days work.
These two days out of my life were just more learning experiences. In two days I learned that if I'm going to make it in this world, I have to stay true to myself and what I believe in, no matter what circumstance I happen to find myself in. More than likely no one is going to be there to help me make the right decision, so I have to be confident enough to do it on my own. Since I'll be leaving for college in two short years, I REALLY need to make sure I understand this concept before I leave! Lord only knows what could happen if I don't.
I also need to understand that I'm only ever as sad or frusterated as I let myself be. I have the power to control my emotions, and my outlook on everything that challenges me. No matter what happens, I decide how I let things affect me and how I affect the people around me. It's hard to stay positive all the time, but it really can make a big difference in your personal quality of life and of those around you. So the bottom line is, think happy, and you'll BE happy! Never settle for lesser, draining emotions. Life just isn't long enough to mess around with those.
I won't catch you guys up on anything that happened during that last week of January, because honestly, I don't remember. How sad is that? But I'm sure you've all felt my pain. When you're busy, you are only able to remember extremely important occurrences. Sometimes I get so caught up I don't even remember those. But thankfully, today on this slow super bowl Sunday I have the chance to collect myself before the start of another busy week.
The past two days have been the most eventful and memorable in my two week blogging lapse. On Friday, I attended one of the best parties of the new year so far. It was one of those that had the complete package: the kick butt d.j., the strobe lights that are so bright and confusing you have trouble recognizing people, the big dance floor, and of course, tons of 15-18 year olds who want nothing more than to dance and have a good time. Typical high school party. But of course there are always the 10 or so people who always show up to these things completely zonked out at around 10 o'clock. I cannot stand these people. They have a habit of ruining a perfectly harmless and fun night with their dumb choices. But for some reason we always put up with them.
I'm sure all of you out there have been to at least one of these parties in your life. And if you haven't then you more than likely will in the future. If you have then you know that if you're a girl, you dance with whoever is around you, regardless of if you happen to know them or not. This was what I was doing about halfway into my stay at this interesting party. And I will say that I was having a blast, until this squirrely, short, string bean of a guy came up and started dancing with me. He was one of those where it was immediately obvious that he was looking for someone easy if you know what I mean. SO not my scene, and definitely not someone a girl like me was going to put up with. We'll just say that that nasty little dude got the most polite and sincere shove in the chest that he will ever get in his life. I think I was pretty merciful, and I learned a little more about what my personal morals are and the courage it takes to keep them. All of you ladies out there would have been proud. But anyway, there's a little dose of high school drama for you older people.
Yesterday was one of the most fun days I've had in a while. We had our first club volleyball tournament of the season. For those of you who don't know, club volleyball is like a traveling team thing that I and many other players do to improve and keep playing during the off season. Volleyball is my love and my passion, my everlasting joy and my constant obsession. It's the one thing that I do solely for me; my little bit of individual heavenly pleasure. Yesterday my team along with our two coaches traveled down to Columbia for our first tournament of the year. Never have I laughed so much as with this group of girls and these coaches. We laughed even when we were losing, which I have come to understand is an extremely important attitude to have. No matter how tough things get, if you keep your energy up and your spirits light, you can acheive just about anything. My team's experience is proof of this. Even after losing our very first game of the tournament that went from 8 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. and being so tired we could barely see straight, we succeeded in winning first place in the silver division. Not a bad days work.
These two days out of my life were just more learning experiences. In two days I learned that if I'm going to make it in this world, I have to stay true to myself and what I believe in, no matter what circumstance I happen to find myself in. More than likely no one is going to be there to help me make the right decision, so I have to be confident enough to do it on my own. Since I'll be leaving for college in two short years, I REALLY need to make sure I understand this concept before I leave! Lord only knows what could happen if I don't.
I also need to understand that I'm only ever as sad or frusterated as I let myself be. I have the power to control my emotions, and my outlook on everything that challenges me. No matter what happens, I decide how I let things affect me and how I affect the people around me. It's hard to stay positive all the time, but it really can make a big difference in your personal quality of life and of those around you. So the bottom line is, think happy, and you'll BE happy! Never settle for lesser, draining emotions. Life just isn't long enough to mess around with those.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Pushing Your Buttons
I think it's pretty interesting how certain things can make a certain person so very angry. It could be the smallest, most insignificant thing to you, but to someone else it sets off a bomb of heated words and turbulent feelings.Why do all of our individual fuses connect to something different?
Yesterday, I had the privilege of listening to a dear friend of mine vent more harshly than I have ever heard her speak. One of our teammates was (yet again) skipping practice because of other 'obligations'. Now, I won't say that I don't understand my friend's frustration, this being the fifth or sixth time our teammate has attended other events instead of our practice, but let me tell you, it certainly didn't get under my skin as much as it did hers! She was absolutely livid, just seething with retribution and contempt. This I could tell, and I wasn't even speaking directly to her, only corresponding through short, choppy text messages. So you can imagine how mad she was when only a simple text message conveyed such strong displeasure.
This did get me to thinking though, why do we all have those certain pet peeves? Those small little occurrences that push your buttons dead center and can sometimes go as far as ruining your whole day? Heck if I know, but I do know that we ALL have them, whether we'd like to admit it or not.
I will tell you, some of mine are exponentially stupid. They range from people driving a million miles under the speed limit to my mother making small comments on what I decided to wear that day. But regardless, they all have the potential to make me equally enraged and all together hard to deal with. There are things that I get angry about for only a few minutes, but then there are those that make me on edge and fuming for the majority of the day. I disgust myself on those days, because I unknowingly seem to pass on my aggravation to almost everyone I come in contact with. My snide, smart-aleck comments and retorts could fire up even the most docile people. I really must try and work on that.
I don't feel too horrible about it though most of the time, because everyone has those days when we let our current attitude dominate our mind and actions. I'm definitely not excusing this behavior, because I most certainly hate being at the attacking end of it, but I am saying that it happens to all of us, and I understand that. Also, on the flip side, I will say that I occaisionally find people exceedingly humerous when they're at their wits end over something that seems extrememly miniscule to me. But that seems to only infuriate them more, so I really should work on keeping my mouth shut then too!
I'm sure we could all work on reigning in our horrid torrents of feeling on those bad days, but I won't lie to you, my day has been made a few times at the hilarity of what we so jokingly call, pet peeves.
"I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation." -Whoopi Goldburg
Yesterday, I had the privilege of listening to a dear friend of mine vent more harshly than I have ever heard her speak. One of our teammates was (yet again) skipping practice because of other 'obligations'. Now, I won't say that I don't understand my friend's frustration, this being the fifth or sixth time our teammate has attended other events instead of our practice, but let me tell you, it certainly didn't get under my skin as much as it did hers! She was absolutely livid, just seething with retribution and contempt. This I could tell, and I wasn't even speaking directly to her, only corresponding through short, choppy text messages. So you can imagine how mad she was when only a simple text message conveyed such strong displeasure.
This did get me to thinking though, why do we all have those certain pet peeves? Those small little occurrences that push your buttons dead center and can sometimes go as far as ruining your whole day? Heck if I know, but I do know that we ALL have them, whether we'd like to admit it or not.
I will tell you, some of mine are exponentially stupid. They range from people driving a million miles under the speed limit to my mother making small comments on what I decided to wear that day. But regardless, they all have the potential to make me equally enraged and all together hard to deal with. There are things that I get angry about for only a few minutes, but then there are those that make me on edge and fuming for the majority of the day. I disgust myself on those days, because I unknowingly seem to pass on my aggravation to almost everyone I come in contact with. My snide, smart-aleck comments and retorts could fire up even the most docile people. I really must try and work on that.
I don't feel too horrible about it though most of the time, because everyone has those days when we let our current attitude dominate our mind and actions. I'm definitely not excusing this behavior, because I most certainly hate being at the attacking end of it, but I am saying that it happens to all of us, and I understand that. Also, on the flip side, I will say that I occaisionally find people exceedingly humerous when they're at their wits end over something that seems extrememly miniscule to me. But that seems to only infuriate them more, so I really should work on keeping my mouth shut then too!
I'm sure we could all work on reigning in our horrid torrents of feeling on those bad days, but I won't lie to you, my day has been made a few times at the hilarity of what we so jokingly call, pet peeves.
"I don't have pet peeves, I have whole kennels of irritation." -Whoopi Goldburg
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
"If you want to be happy, be."
It seems like I have taken a small blogging vacation for the past eight or nine days. I promised myself I wouldn't do that. But, I didn't want to bore any of you out there with my monotonous and unexciting life more than necessary, so in one way I did myself and everyone else a favor. I refuse to blog about only my life and how its going and what I'm doing all the time. I'm not saying that I will never do that, because Lord knows I'll break that promise eventually, but I am promising to only write on here when I get that feeling. You all know what I mean. That feeling that you have all these words built up in your head that have come from some recent experience that you find you simply must share even if no one really listens. At this moment in time, I have that feeling, and even though I have an exam in the morning and will more than likely regret staying up to write this, I'm going to write it, because I have to. Simple as that.
I was in my lovely English class today reviewing for our exam that we have this Thursday. I find myself situated as far back in the classroom as possible, my last name being close to the end of the alphabet and all. Not at all the position you want to be in when you find yourself struggling to focus. But, alas, that was my predicament today. Usually I can find a way to muddle through the hour and a half without falling asleep or losing concentration. No such luck today.
We were having a discussion (by 'we' I mean the front half of the class) about topics that we could potentially be given to write an essay about for one section of our exam. Our teacher gave us a sheet with the topics on them, and proceded to question us and let us talk amongst ourselves about our ideas and opinions on each topic. As I was reading and thinking, I can across one topic that really just sort of stopped me in my mental tracks. I knew my opinion on it, but could think of no valid argument that could be backed up by any type of common idea or literature. The topic read something like this: "Which do you think is more important; happiness, or responsibility? Write and explain three reasons to support your opinion."
I hardly listened to any other topic that was discussed, so absorbed was I in trying to figure out what I thought about that question and how I would answer it in a fashionable and intelligent way. I talked about it with the class, but I still have yet to completely arrange my thoughts. So I thought I would share what I have so far with you guys (meaning my two awesome followers- you guys rock, and anyone who stumbles upon this).
My opinion was, and still is, that responsibility is more important. I think so, because if you compare happiness to responsibility, responsibility is forever and thrust upon us, and happiness seems to wash in and out of our lives as we allow it to.You can go looking for happiness, and it will refuse to be found. You can go looking for responsibility, and boy, you will find it everywhere you turn.
I think that happiness eludes us so because we purposefully go looking for it. Happiness cannot be found, rather, it is made. First of all though, you must allow yourself to feel it and know when it is there. It can show up when you least expect it, like when you are the first one awake in the house, and sit enjoying your morning coffee in the early quiet. It just appears, without reason or cause. It just, is.
Earlier tonight my mom and I saw a new movie that just came out, called Eat. Pray. Love. Highly recommend it if you haven't gotten the chance to see it yet. It was about a woman, who went searching the world for herself so to speak. She went to Italy, India, and Bali to find happiness and balance in her heart and soul. Other than making me want to travel incredibly badly, it showed me this unusual and confusing path to happiness and contentment with oneself. In the end, it came down to the fact that you must allow yourself to feel this happiness, and not associate it with anything in particular. In other words, to be content, you must learn to let your mind clear and be filled with blissful nothingness for whatever period of time is available. This is harder than it sounds! How many times have you successfully thought of absolutely nothing? I can't think of a time when I wasn't thinking of things that I had to get done, things that I had to plan for, or things that I had to say. My mind is always busy with something, be it stupid or important. After watching this movie and having this discussion in class however, I am going to try to clear my head more, and give myself a few moments of profound nothingness whenever possible during the day. Yes, I am highly aware of how silly this sounds, but if you think about it, every idea seems silly in its beginnings.
"Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
I was in my lovely English class today reviewing for our exam that we have this Thursday. I find myself situated as far back in the classroom as possible, my last name being close to the end of the alphabet and all. Not at all the position you want to be in when you find yourself struggling to focus. But, alas, that was my predicament today. Usually I can find a way to muddle through the hour and a half without falling asleep or losing concentration. No such luck today.
We were having a discussion (by 'we' I mean the front half of the class) about topics that we could potentially be given to write an essay about for one section of our exam. Our teacher gave us a sheet with the topics on them, and proceded to question us and let us talk amongst ourselves about our ideas and opinions on each topic. As I was reading and thinking, I can across one topic that really just sort of stopped me in my mental tracks. I knew my opinion on it, but could think of no valid argument that could be backed up by any type of common idea or literature. The topic read something like this: "Which do you think is more important; happiness, or responsibility? Write and explain three reasons to support your opinion."
I hardly listened to any other topic that was discussed, so absorbed was I in trying to figure out what I thought about that question and how I would answer it in a fashionable and intelligent way. I talked about it with the class, but I still have yet to completely arrange my thoughts. So I thought I would share what I have so far with you guys (meaning my two awesome followers- you guys rock, and anyone who stumbles upon this).
My opinion was, and still is, that responsibility is more important. I think so, because if you compare happiness to responsibility, responsibility is forever and thrust upon us, and happiness seems to wash in and out of our lives as we allow it to.You can go looking for happiness, and it will refuse to be found. You can go looking for responsibility, and boy, you will find it everywhere you turn.
I think that happiness eludes us so because we purposefully go looking for it. Happiness cannot be found, rather, it is made. First of all though, you must allow yourself to feel it and know when it is there. It can show up when you least expect it, like when you are the first one awake in the house, and sit enjoying your morning coffee in the early quiet. It just appears, without reason or cause. It just, is.
Earlier tonight my mom and I saw a new movie that just came out, called Eat. Pray. Love. Highly recommend it if you haven't gotten the chance to see it yet. It was about a woman, who went searching the world for herself so to speak. She went to Italy, India, and Bali to find happiness and balance in her heart and soul. Other than making me want to travel incredibly badly, it showed me this unusual and confusing path to happiness and contentment with oneself. In the end, it came down to the fact that you must allow yourself to feel this happiness, and not associate it with anything in particular. In other words, to be content, you must learn to let your mind clear and be filled with blissful nothingness for whatever period of time is available. This is harder than it sounds! How many times have you successfully thought of absolutely nothing? I can't think of a time when I wasn't thinking of things that I had to get done, things that I had to plan for, or things that I had to say. My mind is always busy with something, be it stupid or important. After watching this movie and having this discussion in class however, I am going to try to clear my head more, and give myself a few moments of profound nothingness whenever possible during the day. Yes, I am highly aware of how silly this sounds, but if you think about it, every idea seems silly in its beginnings.
"Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
Monday, January 10, 2011
What a Weekend
What does everyone do on their weekends? Because until this one, mine are all usually equally uneventful and completely boring.
This weekend so far has been an exception though. Went to a neighbor's house Saturday night to babysit and ended up having a blast. This is somewhat surprising, considering the fact that three 11-year-old boys and a 5-year-old girl should normally be slightly difficult to get along with for more than two hours. We were though, together for a total of six hours, none of which consisted of an exemplary amount of whining, fighting, or crying. Quite an accomplishment. We did stay busy though, baking a cake, figuring out the awesome easy-bake oven (got to love those things), me learning how to play 'Yeti', and the consumption of an enormous amount of apple juice and pizza. An all around successful and enjoyable night with those sweet kids.
Sunday was very plain, save for the always fun volleyball practice in Laurens County. Today though, was pretty amazing! For those of you who don't watch the weather channel, the upstate of South Carolina, a little of North Carolina, and the majority of Georgia got buckets and buckets of snow Sunday night and this morning. I don't remember another time when we had so much snow here. We were all so excited!
Spent much of the day watching it fall and sledding for the first time in years behind the house. Had a blast again with those same four sweet kids, even though we all almost froze to death from lack of appropriate snow clothes.
I will say though it isn't as pretty and fun anymore, the freezing rain and ice kind of sucked it up. But it's been almost like a mini-holiday because no one can drive anywhere or do anything, so for once everyone just gets to hang out together, which has been nice. Anyway, no school again tomorrow so it's bound to be another relaxing snowy day in the South. Think I might move a little farther north so this could happen more often. The lovely quiet and white outside so beautiful and pure you can't help but get lost in it. And I of course, rather enjoy getting lost.
"Advice is like snow; the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into, the mind."
This weekend so far has been an exception though. Went to a neighbor's house Saturday night to babysit and ended up having a blast. This is somewhat surprising, considering the fact that three 11-year-old boys and a 5-year-old girl should normally be slightly difficult to get along with for more than two hours. We were though, together for a total of six hours, none of which consisted of an exemplary amount of whining, fighting, or crying. Quite an accomplishment. We did stay busy though, baking a cake, figuring out the awesome easy-bake oven (got to love those things), me learning how to play 'Yeti', and the consumption of an enormous amount of apple juice and pizza. An all around successful and enjoyable night with those sweet kids.
Sunday was very plain, save for the always fun volleyball practice in Laurens County. Today though, was pretty amazing! For those of you who don't watch the weather channel, the upstate of South Carolina, a little of North Carolina, and the majority of Georgia got buckets and buckets of snow Sunday night and this morning. I don't remember another time when we had so much snow here. We were all so excited!
Spent much of the day watching it fall and sledding for the first time in years behind the house. Had a blast again with those same four sweet kids, even though we all almost froze to death from lack of appropriate snow clothes.
I will say though it isn't as pretty and fun anymore, the freezing rain and ice kind of sucked it up. But it's been almost like a mini-holiday because no one can drive anywhere or do anything, so for once everyone just gets to hang out together, which has been nice. Anyway, no school again tomorrow so it's bound to be another relaxing snowy day in the South. Think I might move a little farther north so this could happen more often. The lovely quiet and white outside so beautiful and pure you can't help but get lost in it. And I of course, rather enjoy getting lost.
"Advice is like snow; the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into, the mind."
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
If you think about it, it's one of the most powerful and magical phenomenons in our world today. It's one of the only subjects left in this society that no one has been able to come up with accurate definition for. It is undefinable and untouchable, although it does a tremendous job of touching us even in the most shadowed corners of our souls. Music is the only thing on this earth that never fails to reach people, no matter their culture, religion, race, personality, or present circumstance.
If you haven't noticed already, this is one of my weird thoughts that I think about whenever I have a little quiet moment to myself. Everyone might not want to admit it, but I think we all have those kinds of thoughts. The ones that you think about for a little while when your mind isn't otherwise occupied, and when it does become occupied, you store it away to ponder about again when you next get the chance. Don't lie, you know you've done it at one time or another.
But going back to the whole music thing, I wanted to write about it because in my opinion it is one of the most precious things in the world. We use it to better describe ourselves and to tell stories about pieces of our lives that were particularly enjoyable or even devastating. I remember one of our choral directors at school telling us that "Music is what feelings sound like". I don't think anyone could sum it up any better than that. And you know, people are all about telling how they feel, sometimes regardless of whether we want to listen or not!
So yes, it paints a picture of our lives, but it can also be used for communication. If you've ever been in a church (which I really hope all of you have) then you know that usually before the preacher preaches his message, the congregation sings, because it says that the "voices of God's people singing His praises are pleasing to His ear". Hey, if the Big Man Upstairs loves music, it must be pretty amazing to say the least. It can also be used to communicate and reach people who speak different languages, those that are mentally disabled, and those that suffer from sicknesses like depression.
Songs can be life-changing. I heard a story not long ago that proves this. A new song was played on the radio by some new music group, and not long after it played the station got a phone call from a man who said that he wanted to know the name of the song that they just played, because he had been contemplating suicide and the song had changed his mind and therefore his whole life. Like I said, it touches people like nothing else can. We will probably never fully be able to understand it, but then again, I don't know if I would ever really WANT to figure it out. Secrets are more captivating than common knowledge.
It can make us laugh, make us cry, comfort us, empower, enlighten, and encourage us, and tell the truth when nothing/no one else will. What else can do all of that in as little as two and a half minutes? (Even though there are those rare 5+ minute songs too.) It is also in the earth itself when we care to take notice. The birds, bugs, wind, trees, streams, and storms seem to sing their own songs as well. Guess its just another one of those puzzling but lovely daily miracles that we get to enjoy.
"I have my own particular sorrows, loves, delights; and you have yours. But sorrow, gladness, yearning, hope, love, belong to all of us, in all times and in all places. Music is the only means whereby we feel these emotions in their universality." - H.A. Overstreet
If you haven't noticed already, this is one of my weird thoughts that I think about whenever I have a little quiet moment to myself. Everyone might not want to admit it, but I think we all have those kinds of thoughts. The ones that you think about for a little while when your mind isn't otherwise occupied, and when it does become occupied, you store it away to ponder about again when you next get the chance. Don't lie, you know you've done it at one time or another.
But going back to the whole music thing, I wanted to write about it because in my opinion it is one of the most precious things in the world. We use it to better describe ourselves and to tell stories about pieces of our lives that were particularly enjoyable or even devastating. I remember one of our choral directors at school telling us that "Music is what feelings sound like". I don't think anyone could sum it up any better than that. And you know, people are all about telling how they feel, sometimes regardless of whether we want to listen or not!
So yes, it paints a picture of our lives, but it can also be used for communication. If you've ever been in a church (which I really hope all of you have) then you know that usually before the preacher preaches his message, the congregation sings, because it says that the "voices of God's people singing His praises are pleasing to His ear". Hey, if the Big Man Upstairs loves music, it must be pretty amazing to say the least. It can also be used to communicate and reach people who speak different languages, those that are mentally disabled, and those that suffer from sicknesses like depression.
Songs can be life-changing. I heard a story not long ago that proves this. A new song was played on the radio by some new music group, and not long after it played the station got a phone call from a man who said that he wanted to know the name of the song that they just played, because he had been contemplating suicide and the song had changed his mind and therefore his whole life. Like I said, it touches people like nothing else can. We will probably never fully be able to understand it, but then again, I don't know if I would ever really WANT to figure it out. Secrets are more captivating than common knowledge.
It can make us laugh, make us cry, comfort us, empower, enlighten, and encourage us, and tell the truth when nothing/no one else will. What else can do all of that in as little as two and a half minutes? (Even though there are those rare 5+ minute songs too.) It is also in the earth itself when we care to take notice. The birds, bugs, wind, trees, streams, and storms seem to sing their own songs as well. Guess its just another one of those puzzling but lovely daily miracles that we get to enjoy.
"I have my own particular sorrows, loves, delights; and you have yours. But sorrow, gladness, yearning, hope, love, belong to all of us, in all times and in all places. Music is the only means whereby we feel these emotions in their universality." - H.A. Overstreet
Saturday, January 1, 2011
"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us."
It seems like 2010 was more meaningful and quick to pass than any other year that I can remember. Maybe because it was the year in which I did the most growing up so far. Or maybe because it was the year in which I first began to plan for what my future might be like. Or it could have been because 2010 was my year for change, both wanted and unwanted, positive and negative.
I don't think anyone really plans when they want to grow up. Rather, I think it just happens suddenly when we least expect it and hurriedly goes about ripping apart everything and everyone that we thought we knew. Most of the time it's merciless as well, and refuses to hold back the truths in life that we had once shielded ourselves from. Who would have thought it was what we always yearned for back in our very earliest days of childhood. This year I've learned, and am still learning, that growing up is NOT everything it's cracked up to be.
Contentment seems to come in waves throughout my life, sometimes staying for months at time and sometimes only a few hours. I was not going through one of those waves at the start of this school year. At the time my wave was as rough as they come, bringing difficulties and change instead of contentment. However, it wasn't school, or anyone around me that changed, just me. I changed and am still changing almost beyond recognition, much to the surprise and confusion of those around me. I have come to understand now that I have spent most of my short life trying to avoid any type of situation that might make me feel too passionately or make me want to make my emotions known. Now I know that I was terrified of people really knowing me, because there was always that chance that they might not like what they found. I think I knew this before 2010 too but was just too lazy or too scared to do anything about it, so I guess God had to give me a few strong pushes to get me going the right way.
You could say that I've had my eyes opened somewhat, so now I don't view exposing my thoughts and fears as a sign of some sort of weakness. For some reason, I am now not afraid to be an individual. I'm still trying to figure out why God would want me to be more open to others, because from what I've experienced sometimes when other people know what you feel and think, they have better opportunities to hurt you. But I guess I need to learn how to trust too. Who knows. Maybe I'll figure that one out in 2011.
So overall I can say that 2010 was definitely an eventful year, but I wouldn't have changed it even if I could. Hopefully 2011 will open and possibly even close a few more doors in my life. I'm sort of looking forward to it to be honest. The older I get the more amazed I am by how far I still have to go to reach my intended potential. I highly desire to obtain that level of pure peacefulness, that knowing that I have done everything and said everything that was expected of me, and even if I do happen to fall, slide, stumble, and crawl my way to that state of mind it will have been well worth it. After all, successfully conquering life wouldn't be any fun at all if it was easy.
Happy New Year!
I don't think anyone really plans when they want to grow up. Rather, I think it just happens suddenly when we least expect it and hurriedly goes about ripping apart everything and everyone that we thought we knew. Most of the time it's merciless as well, and refuses to hold back the truths in life that we had once shielded ourselves from. Who would have thought it was what we always yearned for back in our very earliest days of childhood. This year I've learned, and am still learning, that growing up is NOT everything it's cracked up to be.
Contentment seems to come in waves throughout my life, sometimes staying for months at time and sometimes only a few hours. I was not going through one of those waves at the start of this school year. At the time my wave was as rough as they come, bringing difficulties and change instead of contentment. However, it wasn't school, or anyone around me that changed, just me. I changed and am still changing almost beyond recognition, much to the surprise and confusion of those around me. I have come to understand now that I have spent most of my short life trying to avoid any type of situation that might make me feel too passionately or make me want to make my emotions known. Now I know that I was terrified of people really knowing me, because there was always that chance that they might not like what they found. I think I knew this before 2010 too but was just too lazy or too scared to do anything about it, so I guess God had to give me a few strong pushes to get me going the right way.
You could say that I've had my eyes opened somewhat, so now I don't view exposing my thoughts and fears as a sign of some sort of weakness. For some reason, I am now not afraid to be an individual. I'm still trying to figure out why God would want me to be more open to others, because from what I've experienced sometimes when other people know what you feel and think, they have better opportunities to hurt you. But I guess I need to learn how to trust too. Who knows. Maybe I'll figure that one out in 2011.
So overall I can say that 2010 was definitely an eventful year, but I wouldn't have changed it even if I could. Hopefully 2011 will open and possibly even close a few more doors in my life. I'm sort of looking forward to it to be honest. The older I get the more amazed I am by how far I still have to go to reach my intended potential. I highly desire to obtain that level of pure peacefulness, that knowing that I have done everything and said everything that was expected of me, and even if I do happen to fall, slide, stumble, and crawl my way to that state of mind it will have been well worth it. After all, successfully conquering life wouldn't be any fun at all if it was easy.
Happy New Year!
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